thenumber of children that read books for fun has dropped dramatically in recent years.What are the reasons and how can we encourage children to read more
There is a problem
occured
nowadays Correct your spelling
occurring
which
Change preposition
in which
children
refuse to read books
as a fun activity. I believe that this
problem is rooted from
the change of era, especially with the fast distribution of technology.
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in
However
, it can be prevented with a
good parenting and education from Remove the article
apply
parents
and family.
In this
modern era, technology has become widely used in the world, either to support productivity and socializing or just to boost the mood after a busy day. This
also
affects the way most parents
in rising
their Correct your spelling
raising
children
. Often times
, Correct your spelling
Oftentimes
parents
just give their children
a smartphone or smart pad
as a quick solution Correct your spelling
smartpad
to
their Change preposition
for
children
that experienced
Wrong verb form
experience
tantrum
to calm down. Fix the agreement mistake
tantrums
This
is due to
parents
also
having a hard or busy day which resulting
in Change the form of the verb
results
lack
of proper quality time with their child. Correct article usage
a lack
Moreover
, resulted in children
having instant stress reliever
that they got from watching phones or pads, Fix the agreement mistake
relievers
thus
books
then
abandoned.
However
, there are also
acts that can be taken especially for parents
to encourage kids to read more books
and to cut down the phone usage from the children
. Parents
can spare
Verb problem
spend
a
quality time with their Correct article usage
apply
children
and focusing
their attention Wrong verb form
focus
to
them. Change preposition
on
Also
, parents
can start to introduce book reading into the child's habit. For example
, start to read them Add an article
a book
book
every night before sleep, so that they are familiarized with Fix the agreement mistake
books
books
and give more interest to
them.
In conclusion, Change preposition
apply
i
believe that the decreasing number of Change the capitalization
I
children
who read books
for fun is due to
the widespread of technology and lack of time given by the parents
. In addition
, parrents
should try the advice given to introduce their child Correct your spelling
parents
with
Change preposition
to
books
.Submitted by ssannyssss on
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coherence cohesion
A strong essay would exhibit a clear and logical structure, with distinct paragraphs for the introduction, body, and conclusion. This essay needs to delineate these sections more clearly for the reader to easily follow the argument.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are vital parts of the essay but require more clarity and development. Specifically, the conclusion should restate your main points succinctly and draw them to a clear resolution, which was only partially achieved here.
task achievement
While you have attempted to provide examples and ideas to support your points, there needs to be a greater development of these ideas and a range of examples. The use of repeated phrases and ideas suggests a limited array of thoughts on the subject.
task achievement
It's important to fully explore the question prompt. This includes addressing all parts of the task and providing a more developed argument with comprehensive ideas and examples. The essay in its current form does not completely fulfill the prompt's requirements. A higher score requires a full response to the prompt.
task achievement
Your ideas are relevant, but the examples provided are generic. Providing specific examples would strengthen your argument and demonstrate an understanding of the subject matter, thus meeting the expectations of the task.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.