IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

​In developing countries, children in rural communities have less access to education. Some people believe that the problem can be solved by providing more schools and teachers, while other think that the problem can be solved by providing computers and internet access. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is true that children in rural areas, especially in economically developing nations, find several difficulties
to continue
Change preposition
in continuing
show examples
 their education. Some individuals argue that providing more educational institutions and teachers can be an effective solution to
this
Linking Words
 problem,
while
Linking Words
 others claim that guaranteeing entry to the internet and providing computers is
Correct article usage
an aresonable
show examples
aresonable
Correct your spelling
reasonable
a reasonable
 solution.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are some reasons that are why people believe that improving the educational system can address
this
Linking Words
 issue and help to solve it. The main reason
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
why students have no access to schools is that those institutions are far
and
Rephrase
away and
show examples
 not convenient for pupils.
As a result
Linking Words
, if there are many academic organisations in rural areas, students will probably find the most convenient and the
near
Correct word choice
nearest
show examples
 one for completing their studies.
For example
Linking Words
, the majority of
researches
Fix the agreement mistake
research
show examples
 have shown that in a country that has
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sufficient
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
schools, their citizens have more chances to get their
scholarship
Fix the agreement mistake
scholarships
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, it is argued that providing computers and an internet connection is the best way to address the problem of difficulties to access. education in rural communities. the strongest reason is that many universities give the possibility to students to attend online classes without leaving their homes and benefit from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
virtual learning,
moreover
Linking Words
, there are several platforms on websites that provide many choices of online courses in diverse disciplines that make
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
learning
effortlessly
Change the word
effortless
show examples
 and
easily
Change the word
easy
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
, the platform Coursera provides many courses in art, Ingenieria,
Correct word choice
and langues
show examples
langues
Correct your spelling
languages
. in conclusion, I strongly believe that ensuring a sufficient number of academic institutions and an easy connection to the internet and computers are both effective solutions to fight the
diffculties
Correct your spelling
difficulties
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
acces
Correct your spelling
accessing
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
learning for children in rural communities.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph logically follows from the last, and use linking words effectively to ensure your essay flows smoothly. Be careful with paragraph structure; each should typically consist of an introductory sentence, development of ideas, and a conclusion or transition.
task achievement
While you addressed the task by discussing both views and stating your own opinion, the argument is not fully extended or well supported. Provide a more thorough analysis and explanation of each viewpoint, and support them with concrete examples. Your conclusion should summarise your opinion clearly, reflecting upon the arguments discussed throughout the essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: