In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

#countries #home #people #be #case #situation

It is a fact that in some regions, buying a home is more essential rather than renting a home. In

this

essay, I will discuss some possible reasons for

this

and argue that

this

is largely a positive development. There are some reasons why

owing

Correct your spelling

owning

show examples

house

Add an article

a house

show examples

is more important than renting one for some

people

Firstly

people

are worried about their present and future and they think

this

might be a valuable investment for them.

For example

, in Iran,

due to

inflation,

house

prices are increasing every day and

people

's investing will

multiple

Change the word

multiply

show examples

Also

, their next generation inherits the

house

and it is a good financial support for them.

Secondly

, some

people

like to settle down in one place and stay there for life. So, they do not have to worry about some issues

such

as problems of moving and increasing of rent

house

every year.

This

is largely a positive situation. They can do whatever they like in

houses

Correct pronoun usage

their houses

show examples

. They can paint, design,

Correct word choice

and rebuilt

show examples

rebuilt

Wrong verb form

rebuild

show examples

their home.

Therefore

, they have full discretion.

Also

, the inspiration to strive harder and improve their earning.

Thus

, individual growth leads to the development of the society. In conclusion, there are many means to buying

house

Correct article usage

a house

show examples

nowadays

such

as investing for

future

Correct article usage

the future

show examples

, getting rid of moving yearly and paying monthly, and

this

is positive in some aspects

such

as having freedom and making

effort

Correct article usage

an effort

show examples

to save money.

Submitted by kk.1379 on Wed Dec 27 2023

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coherence cohesion

Your essay shows a basic level of coherence and cohesion. To improve, aim to have a clearer logical flow between ideas by using a range of discourse markers that accurately reflect the relationships between ideas. Avoid jumping from point to point without clear transitions.

task achievement

As for task achievement, your response addresses the prompt, but it needs to provide more depth in the ideas presented. Consider developing each main point by offering more detailed explanations, and include more specific examples which are fully extended and directly related to the task.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

232 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

ownership
renting
importance
sense of security
stability
financial investment
asset
customize
decorate
belonging
community
potential
future generations
long-term
cost advantage
control
living space

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In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

Word Count

The tendency that news reports in media focus on problems and emergencies rather than on positive developments is harmful for individuals and the society.

Some people say that Ebooks and modern technology will totally replace traditional newspapers and magazines to what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, learners` focus to the lesson in the classrooms has decreased. On my standpoint, both some types of online games on phones and friends who are studying with them are interrupting, and there may be some key solutions which are affective to delay these problems.

In education and employment, some people work harder than others. What makes them work harder? Is it a good thing or a bad thing? Give reasons and examples from your personal experiences.