Everyone should stay in school until the age of eighteen To what extend to you agree or disagree
Globally, most
of
Change preposition
apply
the
people believe that students have to study in Correct article usage
apply
school
until their
age of eighteen but I completely disagree and will explain the reasons through Change the word
the
this
essay.
Firstly
If pupils get chance
to enhance their career after sixteen years old, they could Correct article usage
a chance
absolutetly
focus Correct your spelling
absolutely
their
pathway without wasting Change preposition
on their
the
time until finishing Correct article usage
apply
school
. In other words
, focusing career
options will be more beneficial in Change preposition
on career
this
modern world. For examole
, if a student Correct your spelling
example
get
Change the verb form
gets
chance
in sixteen years to play and show his or her talent in cricket for a match which will directly allow that person to play in Correct article usage
a chance
National
team, the schooler has to practice more and focus Correct article usage
the National
in
cricket rather than attending to Change preposition
on
school
to be a National team player in future. Therefore
, achiving
the goal is more crucial than going to Correct your spelling
achieving
school
.
Secondly
, most of the jobs are age-limited nowadays therefore
, finishing the basic needs of the subjects within school
and completing the degree with specific skills are very time limited
. To elaborate Add a hyphen
time-limited
this
point, young people Change preposition
on this
within
Change preposition
between
twenty two
to Add a hyphen
twenty-two
twenty five
years are required to apply Add a hyphen
twenty-five
most
of the jobs in developed countries so, the people experience difficulties to a finish Change preposition
for most
the
all requirements Remove the article
apply
with in
a particular period. Correct your spelling
within
Therefore
, it is better to leave from
Change preposition
apply
school
with basic neads
and focus on higher studies to apply for Correct your spelling
needs
working
visa.
Correct article usage
a working
However
, leaving from
Change preposition
apply
school
is not possible for all and many of them felt drawbacks due to
wrong
selection of opportunities which will cause Correct article usage
the wrong
incomplete
academic Correct article usage
an incomplete
backround
Correct your spelling
background
as well as
jobless
future.
Correct article usage
a jobless
To conclude
my ideas, despite of
Change preposition
apply
countinuing
Correct your spelling
continuing
school
until the age of eighteen, there are possible and
varieties of career opportunities by selecting a good pathway as early as possible.Correct word choice
apply
Submitted by gaya002.nesa on
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introduction
The essay lacks a clear introduction that presents a paraphrased task statement and a thesis statement outlining your key points. An effective introduction sets the tone for the entire essay and provides a roadmap for the reader.
coherence
Your argument would benefit from more explicit topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph. A good topic sentence clearly states the main point of the paragraph and helps to maintain coherence.
conclusion
Include a conclusion that restates your thesis and summarizes your main points. A well-phrased conclusion provides closure and reinforces your argument effectively.
task response
Make sure to answer the question directly and fully, addressing each part of the task. Develop clear and comprehensive ideas with more elaboration and substantial development. Present your arguments in a more nuanced and balanced way.
examples
Provide specific examples to support your points. These should be relevant and serve to concretize your arguments, making them more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Work on the logical flow of ideas. The essay should have clear connections between sentences and paragraphs. Use a range of cohesive devices to ensure that the essay reads smoothly.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.