IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The qualities a person needs to become truly successful in today's world cannot be learned at a university or similar academic institution. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Many people have goals to be
a
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
successful person in the future,
hence
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 they try to build some essential qualities.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, some of them argue that academic educations are not the appropriate sources for
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

this
Correct determiner usage
these

It seems that determiner use may be incorrect here.

show examples
 needs. I do not agree with
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 statement, since university can provide both hard skills and soft skills which can be a
vehichle
Correct your spelling
vehicle

If you don’t want vehichle to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

for people to gain victory.
To begin
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 with, academic institutions have an intense curriculum that we should not
overlooked
Change the verb form
overlook

The verb overlooked after the modal verb should does not appear to be in the correct form. Consider changing the verb form.

show examples
,
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 as financial management.
With
Change preposition
In

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
current
Correct article usage
the current

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
 industrial era, it is mandatory for managers to be literate about finance, especially when they run a profit-oriented business.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, several universities in Jakarta have set a mandatory subject package which
include
Change the verb form
includes

The plural verb include does not appear to agree with the singular subject a mandatory subject package. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

show examples
 financial education in the first year term.
Thus
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, as they graduate, they will not be surprised to run a business or
involve
Wrong verb form
be involved

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb involve. Consider changing it.

show examples
 in a corporation as they already have a sufficient provision.
Additionally
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
Correct article usage
the university
show examples
university
Correct article usage
the university

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
 is a perfect arena
to train
Change preposition
for training

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
student's
Change noun form
students'

It seems that this noun form may be incorrect.

show examples
 collaboration skills.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 happens because most of the learning methods are conducted in group projects,
thus
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 it fosters people's ability to communicate and work as a team. If,
for instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, students are used to
perform
Change the verb form
performing

It appears that the verb perform is in the wrong form after be/get used to. Consider changing it to the gerund form.

show examples
 well in a group project, it can be said that they are ready to face the professional realm.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 is an intangible role from
university
Add an article
the university
a university

The noun phrase university seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
 that can prepare someone to become a successful person.
To sum up
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it is true that victory
need
Change the verb form
needs

The plural verb need does not appear to agree with the singular subject victory. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

show examples
 preparation, and to be a successful person, several qualities must be built. I believe academic
institution
Fix the agreement mistake
institutions

It seems that institution may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
,
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 as universities and equivalents, can act as the main
actor
Fix the agreement mistake
actors

It seems that actor may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
 to supply valuable provisions, both from technical and emotional intelligence.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

introduction conclusion present
Ensure the essay contains a clear thesis statement in the introduction and a summarizing conclusion that restates this position.
logical structure
Improve the logical flow by using a wider range of cohesive devices and clearer topic sentences that introduce the main point of each paragraph.
supported main points
Develop main points more thoroughly with a balance of general ideas and specific, relevant examples or explanations.
complete response
Fully address all parts of the task, ensuring that your response is comprehensive and covers the prompt in-depth. Make your stance clear throughout the essay.
clear comprehensive ideas
Express your ideas clearly, making sure each paragraph conveys a distinct idea that contributes to the overall argument or perspective of the essay.
relevant specific examples
Include more specific, detailed examples to support your claims. Use real-world instances or hypothetical scenarios that clearly illustrate your points.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: