today the high sales of Polular consumer goods reflect the power of advertisng and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold to what extent do you agree or disagree ?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Currently, the increasing sales of famous consumer
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
led to how advertising strongly
influence
Correct subject-verb agreement
influences
show examples
people's
spend
Wrong verb form
spending
show examples
money not the authentic needs to be society. In my experience, I think the topic provides both agree and disagree
idea
Fix the agreement mistake
ideas
show examples
for four reasons. My content
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
divided into four
paragraps
Correct your spelling
paragraphs
including introduction, agree, disagree, and conclusion parts. I partly agree at the same time I disagree because
firstly
, I agree that many bands are not popular so they require
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
more
advertisement
Replace the word
advertising
show examples
.
For instance
,some local
brand
is that many
human
Change to a plural noun
humans
show examples
do not know what
brand
nor
use
to it.
Secondly
, some goods need to
use
famous
Add an article
a famous
the famous
show examples
person to
sale
Replace the word
sell
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.
For example
, drinking local
brand
Fix the agreement mistake
brands
show examples
require to promote when they want to get high cost.
Thirdly
, nowadays,
shoping
Correct your spelling
shopping
online is not popular so they want to promote
on
Correct pronoun usage
it on
show examples
social media
likes
Wrong verb form
like
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
television,
instragram
Correct your spelling
Instagram
,
Correct word choice
and facebook
show examples
facebook
Capitalize word
Facebook
show examples
.
Lastly
,
season
Replace the word
seasonal
show examples
goods need to
use
advertising because it
short
Add a missing verb
is short
show examples
term to
sale
Replace the word
sell
show examples
. I disagree that
frist
Correct your spelling
first
at
Change preposition
of
show examples
all, some products can
sale
Replace the word
sell
show examples
by
itself
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
show examples
.
For example
, Apple which many people know
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
.
Saecondly
Correct your spelling
Secondly
, many products have several comments because customers care about
review
Fix the agreement mistake
reviews
show examples
more than advertising.
Thirdly
, some
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
have a high quality
for instance
good material , processing,
high
Correct word choice
and high
show examples
value. they can refer their friend and recommend
to
Change the verb form
using
show examples
use
it.
Last
but
noht
Correct your spelling
not
least,
Correct article usage
a luxury
show examples
luxury
Correct article usage
a luxury
show examples
Fix the agreement mistake
brands
show examples
brand
Fix the agreement mistake
brands
show examples
everyone know it
good
Add a missing verb
is good
show examples
and
high quality
Add a hyphen
high-quality
show examples
everyone
Correct subject-verb agreement
believes
show examples
believe
Correct subject-verb agreement
believes
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
. In conclusion,
advertisment
Correct your spelling
advertisement
advertising
is important to promote
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
that
not
Add a missing verb
are not
show examples
well-known including shopping online,
season
Replace the word
seasonal
show examples
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
, famous people, and some
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
not too popular. They
use
advertising to dramatically
inceasing
Correct your spelling
increasing
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
show examples
and hing grad value.
Submitted by sasi.jariyasirikul on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure the response is well-organized with a clear introduction, coherent body paragraphs, and an appropriate conclusion. Each paragraph should have a clear central idea.
coherence cohesion
Focus on the logical progression of ideas. Use a range of cohesive devices and paragraphing effectively to present a well-structured argument.
coherence cohesion
Fully develop your main points. Support each point with specific details or examples to strengthen the argument.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task. Make sure to answer the question directly and to discuss both sides of the argument if required.
task achievement
Present clear and comprehensive ideas. Avoid overly complex sentences where clarity is lost, and ensure relevance to the topic throughout.
task achievement
Provide relevant and specific examples to support your views. These examples should be well-integrated into your argument and contribute to its development.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: