IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Children do not respect their parents as much as they did in the past. This behavior is now having a negative impact on society. Discuss

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Children
Use synonyms
 do not look up
their
Change preposition
to their
show examples
 mother or father almost they did
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
long ago. but now it causes their conduct a negative effect on
community
Add an article
the community
show examples
. We will consider both
side
Change to a plural noun
sides
show examples
 of the discussion in
this
Linking Words
 essay, and give a concluding view. On the one hand, those who support that
children
Use synonyms
 do not respect their
parents
Use synonyms
 as
good
Change the word
well
show examples
 as in the past, the
parents
Use synonyms
 keep in touch with babies but they do not like to punish them now. Since the majority of families,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
did not know any things how about meeting up in the past,
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the relation was strong between them.
For example
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
children
Use synonyms
 lived in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
week
Correct your spelling
weak
show examples
 families
thus
Linking Words
 they
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
always got on with
another
Correct pronoun usage
one another
show examples
.
furthermore
Linking Words
, proponents of people believe that
parents
Use synonyms
had have
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
 not literate in the past, but they
train
Wrong verb form
trained
show examples
 more polite
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
show examples
. Because, when the
children
Use synonyms
make to irritate
Wrong verb form
get irritated
show examples
 at home, the
parents
Use synonyms
 punish them.
For instance
Linking Words
, when
parents
Use synonyms
 punish their babies, the
children
Use synonyms
were
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
 kept silent.
However
Linking Words
, these days opponents of
parents
Use synonyms
 think that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
children
Use synonyms
 are
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
only
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
show examples
 in families. In fact, they are impolite and do not
got
Change the verb form
get
show examples
 on well with
Use synonyms
parents
Correct pronoun usage
their parents
show examples
.
In other words
Linking Words
, now the
parents
Use synonyms
 train at school and they do not like to have a blunt baby.
Moreover
Linking Words
, critics of
children
Use synonyms
 behave
improper
Change the adjective
improperly
show examples
 with
parents
Use synonyms
 since they love their mother and father but they have
Add an article
a problem
show examples
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
. In short, the
parents
Use synonyms
 provide everything for them.
That is
Linking Words
 to say, when the baby
will go
Wrong verb form
goes
show examples
 out with
Use synonyms
parents
Correct article usage
the parents
show examples
, they buy everything for them.
to conclude
Linking Words
, it seems to me that the
parents
Use synonyms
 should behave well with
child
Add an article
the child
show examples
 and they ought to catch up with their
children
Use synonyms
 even punishment them.

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task achievement
The essay lacks clear thesis statements and topic sentences that introduce main ideas. Developing clear statements that directly answer the essay's question will make your arguments stronger and more focused.
task achievement
Include specific examples and evidence to support your points. This will validate your claims and make your argument more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
A logical structure is crucial for coherence and cohesion. Begin paragraphs with clear topic sentences, follow with explanations or examples, and conclude with a summary sentence.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion should summarize the main points of the essay and clearly state your final position. It should provide resolution to the argument, not introduce new ideas.
coherence cohesion
The use of linking words to connect sentences and paragraphs will help to guide the reader through your text and clarify the relationships between your ideas.
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