IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that we should replace old buildings and houses in cities with more modern buildings. Other people think we should protect old buildings. Discuss both these views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant experience from your own experience. Write at least 250 words

#people #buildings #houses #cities
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Many cities are still preserving their ancient civilization by never changing their
buildings
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’ structures. Some people suggested replacing these old
buildings
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 with innovative ones. It is my view that old
buildings
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 are the main foundation of history and culture and shouldn’t be destroyed. On one hand, a group of people claims that it is vitally important to ensure public safety, which will never occur if we risk keeping old
buildings
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 since they are more likely to be destroyed and could contain many structural issues.
In addition
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, they claim that urban renovation could enhance the quality of life, as
this
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 development shot up the people's productivity, which would give them a sense of prosperity. On the other side, a great number of citizens are attached to their old historical
buildings
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. They claim that
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 proves their identity and is evidence of their history. A case in point where Greece has, till now, preserved its old monuments and never abandoned its heritage.
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, families are way more against the idea of renovating their home, as the old one keeps memories and its own smell remains, which refreshes the memory of the past.
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, these ancient
buildings
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 could be exploited for tourism purposes.
For example
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, ancient Egyptian, Roman, and French
buildings
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 are used to gain money by presenting them to tourists, and these countries became famous because of their old monuments. In conclusion, there is no doubt that safety procedures had to be taken, but
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 cannot deny the fact that historical constructions are a mirror of culture and the main evidence for remembering our past.
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. While your structure meets the basic requirements, further clarity can be achieved by better connecting paragraphs and using more cohesive devices.
coherence cohesion
Develop your main points with clearer, more specific examples and explanations. It will enhance the cohesiveness and strength of your argument.
task achievement
While you addressed the task, presented a clear position, and covered both sides of the argument, your essay would benefit from more extensive development of ideas and deeper analysis. Providing more detailed examples to support your points will strengthen your Task Achievement score.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • paramount
  • evolutionary journey
  • tangible link
  • fostering
  • sense of belonging
  • architectural beauty
  • economic benefit
  • tourist attractions
  • preservation techniques
  • structural integrity
  • energy-efficient
  • sustainable architecture
  • cultural preservation
  • urban demands
  • contemporary lifestyles
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