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Band 4

Financial education should be included as a mandatory subject in schools to prepare students for managing money effectively. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#education #schools #students #money
Money management is something that everybody needs to be aware of
since
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at
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early
Correct article usage
an early
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 age. In that case, I strongly agree with the obligation for
student
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students
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 to study financial management.
Firstly
, it can build an individual with a considerate financial decision, considering that many children are given
a
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the
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 liberty to choose
on
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apply
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how they spend their money by their parents. As we are faced with a wide variety of choices these days, they need to understand that every choice has its own consequences.
For instance
, if a person only
have
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has
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 a $3 and wants to buy candy, he would have to sacrifice their lunch meal for the choice they made. That way, a person has to decide which one is more beneficial than the other.
Consequently
,
this
 decision-making process can lead to
a
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apply
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responsible consumption. If
this
 principle is applied
in
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on
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 a daily basis, it
would
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will
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 become a habit and eventually
engraved
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be engraved
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 in the children’s
mind
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minds
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 whenever they have to pick
on
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apply
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how they would like to spend their money. Eventually, it can alternate the
fast paced
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fast-paced
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 consumption pattern, like in
fashion
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the fashion
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 industry.
For instance
, fast fashion has been a threat
for
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to
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 our environment because of how rapidly the trends change, making tons of clothing
goes
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go
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 to waste annually and slow consumption is one of the ways to stop
this
 from happening. In conclusion, in order to open up a new perspective
about
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on
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 finance,
education
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educational
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 institutions should be facilitating their students to learn about the basic life skills in their school curriculum.
Submitted by pink panther on

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task achievement
Ensure your response fully addresses all parts of the task. The presented argument should be clear and cover different aspects of why financial education is necessary.
task achievement
Clarify and develop your main ideas. Use paragraphs effectively and include a clear position or opinion throughout the essay.
task achievement
Support your ideas with specific examples or reasons to add weight to your argument and make it more convincing.
coherence and cohesion
Present information and ideas in a logical sequence. Include cohesive devices to help guide the reader and organize your essay into clear paragraphs.
coherence and cohesion
Start with an introduction that presents the topic and your viewpoint, and end with a conclusion that summarizes your main points and restates your position.
coherence and cohesion
Use a range of linking words to connect ideas and paragraphs, helping the reader to follow your argument more easily.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Financial literacy
  • Mandatory
  • Budgeting
  • Economic stability
  • Fiscal health
  • Credit
  • Interest rates
  • Investments
  • Curriculum
  • Informed decisions
  • Personal debt
  • Savings
  • Taxes
  • Expenditures
  • Fiscal responsibility
  • Money management
  • Financial planning
  • Economic education
  • Financial competence
What to do next:
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