Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination, while others believe that there are more important factors, such as money and appearance. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

There is an ongoing debate about which factor plays the most important role in achieving
success
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in life, with some attributing it to hard work and persistence,
while
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others believe
success
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depends more on fortune and physical
appearance
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. In my opinion,
although
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some
individuals
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are born into wealthy
families
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or achieve
success
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due to
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their
appearance
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, for many
individuals
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,
success
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is the result of discipline and diligence. In many societies, some
individuals
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inherit substantial
wealth
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from their
families
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.
For example
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,
such
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families
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can often be seen in the USA and the UK, where many large companies are owned by wealthy
families
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such
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as the Waltons and the Kochs.
Therefore
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,
wealth
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provides access to business opportunities and influential networks.
Moreover
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, attractive
individuals
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may gain opportunities in industries
such
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as modelling, where
appearance
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plays a crucial role, and lucrative contracts are often offered.
Consequently
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, some people’s
success
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comes from inherited
wealth
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and physical
appearance
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.
On the other hand
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, some entrepreneurs build their companies from scratch by working hard and not giving up, regardless of any hurdles and failures.
This
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is because
individuals
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who grow up with limited resources are often highly motivated to work hard and pursue their goals.
As a result
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, they now run highly successful companies and serve as examples of diligence and persistence for
individuals
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with innovative ideas but limited financial resources.
In addition
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, a clear example is Cristiano Ronaldo, who grew up in a poor family in Portugal but became one of the key players for Real Madrid through consistent effort and discipline. His career demonstrates how persistence and dedication can lead to extraordinary
success
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.
This
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example illustrates that
success
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in life comes not only from fortune and physical
appearance
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but
also
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from diligence and perseverance. In conclusion,
although
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some
individuals
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achieve
success
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through inherited
wealth
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or physical
appearance
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, I firmly believe that long-term
success
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is primarily the result of dedication and perseverance.

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improvement
Try to give more depth to each idea and show more links between ideas in the same paragraph.
language
Use shorter sentences and simple words to keep the flow easy to read.
structure
In each paragraph, start with the main idea and then add a few clear points or facts to back it up.
task response
Clear view on the issue and a well‑defined position.
examples
Good use of examples from real life to back points.
structure
Steps of idea flow from wealth/appearance to hard work are easy to follow.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • perseverance
  • discipline
  • resilience
  • effort
  • tenacity
  • external factors
  • financial resources
  • favorable appearance
  • perceptions
  • advantages
  • intrinsic
  • extrinsic
  • sustainable
  • facilitating
  • undeniable
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