more and more people are moving to big cities why do you think this is happening? is this a positive or negative development?

In the modern era, more part of
people
are moving to big cities.
This
provides positive and negative
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
show examples
.these days technology and money are deciding everything.The following paragraph will discuss
this
statement. On the one hand, The major reason is changing to big cities,
technological
Correct word choice
and technological
show examples
improvements. Nowadays, every
people
Fix the agreement mistake
person
show examples
likes to live modern and style
also
rich. So
people
must consider best quality and quick and safety.
For example
, more
people
go to
town
Correct article usage
the town
show examples
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
best schools, best medicine, and best work.without updating more
people
respect others. These days everything is going to increase.
furthermore
, can get very
quick
Change the word
quickly
show examples
whatever want, if we
choosing
Wrong verb form
choose
show examples
town
Add an article
a town
show examples
,
market
Correct article usage
a market
show examples
, hospitals, shopping centers,
Correct word choice
and restaurant
show examples
restaurant
Fix the agreement mistake
restaurants
show examples
are available.so
people
going
Wrong verb form
go
show examples
to
town
Add an article
the town
show examples
site. Their students are more like to live
city
.
On the other hand
, moving to the
city
gives some bad.
city
Correct article usage
The city
show examples
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
include lot of types
people
Change preposition
of people
show examples
.
That is
not good.without
know
Wrong verb form
knowing
show examples
areas
Correct article usage
the areas
show examples
is not
give
Verb problem
apply
show examples
comfortable.and
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
people
spend more money to live
big
Change preposition
in big
show examples
city
Fix the agreement mistake
cities
show examples
.and can not
live
Verb problem
apply
show examples
poor
people
in big
city
Fix the agreement mistake
cities
show examples
.so
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
create
Correct subject-verb agreement
creates
show examples
big
Correct article usage
a big
show examples
different
Replace the word
difference
show examples
between poor and rich
people
.
For instance
, if we select to live
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
city
Correct article usage
a city
show examples
, that
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
show examples
more voices
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the road, more things will be considered.not get good water, good air in
city
Add an article
the city
show examples
, everything
depend
Change the verb form
depends
show examples
on money. Rich
people
can manage their life. In conclusion, moving to big cities provides some benefits and drawbacks.we are liking to live a standard life.so, we will need to change our hometown.that must give more
lesson
Fix the agreement mistake
lessons
show examples
and experience. After, we can manage our life. we will face every challenge in confidence.
then
we will develop our skills and knowledge.
Submitted by ajeevatharsan on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a coherent structure and clear paragraphing. Introduction and conclusion are presented but not clearly developed.
coherence cohesion
Paragraphs lack a clear central idea and the examples provided do not effectively support the main points.
task achievement
The essay does not fully address all parts of the task. It fails to explain exactly why people move to big cities and to clearly state if this is a positive or a negative development.
task achievement
More specific and relevant examples are necessary to effectively illustrate the main points of the essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Get your IELTS Essential Vocabulary List —
What to do next:
Look at other essays: