IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Start now →
Introduction
Currently, a lot of citizens prefer to be self-employed
instead
Linking Words
 of being a member of a company or organization.
Overall
Linking Words
, some
Change preposition
of
show examples
the interior emotions have
strong
Add an article
a strong
show examples
 impact on
this
Linking Words
 decision,
while
Linking Words
 it probably would have some negative aspects which in
this
Linking Words
 essay will be explored.
Body · 1
First of all, on the one hand, some people would rather spend lots of time with family or feel free whenever they want to visit, so
work
Wrong verb form
working
show examples
 for a company banned them from
this
Linking Words
 purpose.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some basses, who don't have suitable morality in the relationship between a member of teamworkwork, can make much negative
senses
Fix the agreement mistake
sense
show examples
 towards people.
Thus
Linking Words
, they prefer to work for themselves at home or out of the home.
For instance
Linking Words
, based on my knowledge, some of them establish a
Youtube Channel
Correct your spelling
YouTube channel
show examples
 and by producing some media, they can gain much more money even higher than non-self-employement.
Although
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
 situation is undeniable, some of the disadvantages are debatable.
Body · 2
Secondly
Linking Words
, given
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the situation, normally they aren't a member of teamwork. It can cause weak skills of connection with society and a lack of confidence.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, self-employed generally need some facilities to improve the status and location of work.
In addition
Linking Words
, self-employed have much more responsibility which managers can handle .
For example
Linking Words
, when you are self-employed, and broadcast some media from
YouTube
Correct article usage
a YouTube
show examples
 channel, you
known
Add the auxiliary verb
are known
show examples
 as the manager of the channel and you or your admin should be responsible for any problem that probably
be happens
Change the verb form
be happening
show examples
.
Conclusion
To sum up
Linking Words
, being self-employed can be an excellent choice if people are responsible
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
, because makes them feel free to spend time and comfortable without any stress.
However
Linking Words
, the price of some facilities and being far away from society (if it's
homeworkwork
Correct your spelling
homework
) can affect negatively
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
citizen's
Change noun form
citizens'
show examples
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
It is crucial to maintain a clear and logical flow of ideas. Your essay's structure appears somewhat disjointed and lacks smooth transitions between points. Focus on establishing clearer connections between sentences and paragraphs to enhance the overall coherence.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are both present, but they could be more effective. Work on refining your opening and closing statements to better encapsulate the main argument and summarise your main points with more impact.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with more detailed explanations and relevant examples. The ideas presented require further development and the examples cited are somewhat vague. Providing specific, concrete examples will strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Your response reflects an understanding of the task, but it is incomplete and ideas are not fully developed. Ensure you address all parts of the prompt thoroughly, providing a more rounded discussion on both the reasons for self-employment and its disadvantages.
task achievement
The ideas presented lack clarity and comprehensiveness, especially regarding the disadvantages of self-employment. Strive to clarify your ideas and offer more depth in your discussion to fully engage with the question.
task achievement
Include more varied and relevant examples to substantiate your points. The example of a YouTube channel is relevant, but additional supporting examples would provide a stronger argument. Examples should be specific and varied to demonstrate a thorough understanding of the topic.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • self-employment
  • freelancing
  • entrepreneurship
  • autonomy
  • financial stability
  • work-life balance
  • financial insecurity
  • lack of support
  • resources
  • long working hours
  • uncertain income
  • job security
What to do next:
Look at other essays: