Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?
Currently, a lot of citizens prefer to be self-employed the interior emotions have
instead
of being a member of a company or organization. Overall
, someChange preposition
of
strong
impact on Add an article
a strong
this
decision, while
it probably would have some negative aspects which in this
essay will be explored.
First of all, on the one hand, some people would rather spend lots of time with family or feel free whenever they want to visit, so work
for a company banned them from Wrong verb form
working
this
purpose. On the other hand
, some basses, who don't have suitable morality in the relationship between a member of teamworkwork, can make much negative senses
towards people. Fix the agreement mistake
sense
Thus
, they prefer to work for themselves at home or out of the home. For instance
, based on my knowledge, some of them establish a Youtube Channel
and by producing some media, they can gain much more money even higher than non-self-employement. Correct your spelling
YouTube channel
Although
,
Remove the comma
apply
this
situation is undeniable, some of the disadvantages are debatable.
Secondly
, given to
the situation, normally they aren't a member of teamwork. It can cause weak skills of connection with society and a lack of confidence. Change preposition
apply
Furthermore
, self-employed generally need some facilities to improve the status and location of work. In addition
, self-employed have much more responsibility which managers can handle . For example
, when you are self-employed, and broadcast some media from YouTube
channel, you Correct article usage
a YouTube
known
as the manager of the channel and you or your admin should be responsible for any problem that probably Add the auxiliary verb
are known
be happens
.
Change the verb form
be happening
To sum up
, being self-employed can be an excellent choice if people are responsible human
, because makes them feel free to spend time and comfortable without any stress. Fix the agreement mistake
humans
However
, the price of some facilities and being far away from society (if it's homeworkwork
) can affect negatively Correct your spelling
homework
on
Change preposition
apply
citizen's
Change noun form
citizens'
life
.Fix the agreement mistake
lives
Submitted by ziba.gharehnazifam on
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coherence cohesion
It is crucial to maintain a clear and logical flow of ideas. Your essay's structure appears somewhat disjointed and lacks smooth transitions between points. Focus on establishing clearer connections between sentences and paragraphs to enhance the overall coherence.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are both present, but they could be more effective. Work on refining your opening and closing statements to better encapsulate the main argument and summarise your main points with more impact.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with more detailed explanations and relevant examples. The ideas presented require further development and the examples cited are somewhat vague. Providing specific, concrete examples will strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Your response reflects an understanding of the task, but it is incomplete and ideas are not fully developed. Ensure you address all parts of the prompt thoroughly, providing a more rounded discussion on both the reasons for self-employment and its disadvantages.
task achievement
The ideas presented lack clarity and comprehensiveness, especially regarding the disadvantages of self-employment. Strive to clarify your ideas and offer more depth in your discussion to fully engage with the question.
task achievement
Include more varied and relevant examples to substantiate your points. The example of a YouTube channel is relevant, but additional supporting examples would provide a stronger argument. Examples should be specific and varied to demonstrate a thorough understanding of the topic.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic
IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.
Answer structure for the type of essay
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – advantages
- Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- The main advantage is...
- The disadvantage of this...
- The main benefit...
- Despite these advantages...
- One possible drawback...