Some people argue that it is better to be unemployed than to be employed in jobs they do not enjoy. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Recently,
people
debate
whether Wrong verb form
have debated
being
unemployed Change the verb form
to be
than
doing Rephrase
rather than
jobs
that they do not enjoys
. Change the verb form
enjoy
While
some would stay out of work will the time they find their passions, I prefer to have a job although
it might not be my favourite one.
Firstly
, working allows people
to survive. Basic daily expenses such
as shelters
, Fix the agreement mistake
shelter
foods
and Fix the agreement mistake
food
unilities
need to be covered. Correct your spelling
utilities
Therefore
, a lot of enployees
are Correct your spelling
employees
wokring
for their paychecks to live, to support their families and to be financially independent. By having a job, Correct your spelling
working
people
will less
likely to become burdens of Add a missing verb
be less
thr
society. Clearly, Correct your spelling
the
human
can not afford to live a normal life without working and being dependent on someone.
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
Moreover
, being employed provides practical learning which is needed for their dream jobs
. For instance
, a
person loves to become a manager, they must obtain Correct word choice
if a
Correct article usage
the neccessary
neccessary
Correct your spelling
necessary
skills
such
as team work
, time management, leadership Correct your spelling
teamwork
skills
and task delicating
. These can be learned and Correct your spelling
delegating
delicate
dedicating
practiced
Change the spelling
practised
while
they are working at
any position. Without a valid job, it is impossible for Change preposition
in
people
to get trained with these skills
in a real worklife
.
In conclusion, Correct your spelling
work life
work-life
people
my
not enjoy the Correct your spelling
may
jobs
that they are doing, however
, it is compulsory to stay enployed
in order to survive. Working Correct your spelling
employed
unfavourabke
Correct your spelling
unfavourable
jobs
does not stop people
from pursuing their dreams, as long as they earn good expericences
and Correct your spelling
experiences
experience
skills
to deploy them.Submitted by thanhvan230688 on
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grammar
Pay close attention to spelling and grammar, as errors can significantly impact the clarity of your arguments. For instance, 'enployees' should be 'employees,' 'shelters, foods and unilities' should be 'shelter, food, and utilities,' and 'neccessary' should be 'necessary'. Aim for error-free writing to achieve a higher score.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure that your essay has a clear and logical structure. Develop your main points with adequate support, and use a range of cohesive devices effectively. Organize your paragraphs clearly with topic sentences that signal the main idea and subsequent sentences that develop this idea with explanations or examples.
task achievement
To fully address the task, make sure to directly and clearly respond to the prompt. Provide specific examples to support your arguments where possible, and ensure that these examples are fully developed and relevant to the topic. You briefly mentioned practical learning in dream jobs, but providing a more relevant, concrete example would strengthen your position.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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