In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before, some people say an ageing population creates problems for government. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #people #population #government #society

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In recent years, global life expectancy has increased, primarily

due to

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advancements in medical facilities and improved lifestyles.

While

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the ageing

population

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presents challenges for governments, it

also

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brings valuable contributions to local communities.

This

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essay will explore both aspects, acknowledging the benefits of the elderly's presence

while

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emphasizing the essential need for

government

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assistance in managing their healthcare.

Firstly

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, elderly individuals contribute to social balance within families.

For instance

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, working parents often grapple with the decision to leave their children in childcare

centers

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centres

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, leading to concerns about the well-being of their offspring.

However

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, the presence of grandparents offers a solution, providing valuable support and care for grandchildren.

Moreover

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, many older individuals actively engage in volunteer work,

such

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as managing traffic during school hours, thereby contributing significantly to the well-being of local communities. On the flip side, the

government

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plays a crucial role in mitigating the financial burden on families and ensuring advanced medical facilities for the elderly. Japan serves as an exemplary case, boasting the world's highest life expectancy, with both genders averaging an impressive 85 years,

according to

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recent World Health Organization data.

This

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success is attributed to Japan's commitment to evolving medical technology and adherence to comprehensive food guidelines tailored

for

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the ageing

population

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. It is imperative for other nations to learn from

such

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examples and invest in both medical advancements and nutritional standards. Importantly, individuals entering their retirement years have consistently contributed to

government

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revenue through taxes.

Consequently

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, it becomes a fundamental human right for them to expect support and care from the

government

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during

this

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phase of life. Governments should view

this

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responsibility as an investment in the well-being of their citizens, rather than a burden on the nation. In conclusion, the ageing

population

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brings numerous benefits to families and communities, ranging from valuable time spent with grandchildren to active participation in volunteer activities.

However

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, governments must recognize their responsibility to provide essential facilities, especially in healthcare, to support the elderly.

This

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balanced approach ensures that the ageing

population

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becomes an asset rather than a liability for nations, fostering a harmonious and supportive society.

Submitted by patel.bhavesh870 on Thu Dec 28 2023

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coherence cohesion

While your essay presents a coherent discussion of the issue, to improve, ensure that ideas flow logically from one paragraph to another with clear cohesive devices, maintain relevance to the main topic throughout the essay, and the introduction and conclusion should explicitly address the prompt in a more substantial manner.

task achievement

To fully address the task, expand on the key points in the prompt and provide a balanced argument throughout the essay. The response should directly answer the question with pertinent examples, and explore the advantages and disadvantages of an ageing population more evenly. Reflect on both sides of the argument when forming your assessment of whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

6.5

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

349 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Ageing population
Pension systems
Healthcare demand
Workforce demographics
Life expectancy
Economic productivity
Intergenerational relationships
Cultural heritage
Social services
Government spending
Skills gap
Public services
Cultural enrichment
Seniority advantage
Elder care
Demographic shift

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Describe some of the problems overreliance on cars can cause and suggest a possible solution.

In some parts of the world, people have become more focused on themselves than their communities. What problems can this situation cause and how can they be solved?

People tend to work longer hours nowadays. Working long hours has a negative effect on themselves, their family and the society so working long hours should be restricted. Do you agree or disagree.

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?