IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

#governments #progress #people #country
The governments argued that their most valuable aim is economic
progress
,but others think that other types of
progress
 have the same importance for a nation.I strongly agree with the latter
one
due to
 the value of cultural, social and environmental
progress
.
To begin
 with,authorities believed that economic
progress
 was the most important goal for the nation.It is generally believed that if the currency of
one
country
 is strong,
then
 its citizens can enjoy a lot of facilities like modern hospitals,the best education centres,and transport.So,it is true
according to
 the point of view of the governments that
progress
 in the economy is vital for the
country
.
On the other hand
,folks think that other kinds of
progress
 are
also
 crucial for nations
such
 as environment,culture ,and social
progress
.
Moreover
,It is considered that surroundings have a huge impact on the people.
This
 is because individuals can not live in a polluted environment.
This
 type of environment will affect their health.
Additionally
,a
country
 with a polluted nature,but a huge amount of money is not valuable,owing to the fact that
land's
Correct article usage
the land's
show examples
 future is in danger,and the next generation will be the victims of today`s actions.
Secondly
,culture is the thing in which the governments should be more serious.
In other words
,if folks do not have their cultural values,
then
 it is very difficult for them to live,
according to
 the rules of their forefathers. I strongly agree with the latter group.
Although
 the importance of economic
progress
 is fundamental, all other ends
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
I aforementioned are
also
 important,and we can not choose
one
 over another. In conclusion,
although
 economic
progress
 is very necessary,
one
 can not deny the other
progress
.As a whole,all these aspects together can boost
country's
Correct article usage
the country's
show examples
 situation.
Submitted by jamalashraf45 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. Each paragraph should begin with a clear topic sentence, and the ideas should be logically ordered and well-developed.
task achievement
Make sure your essay addresses all parts of the task. There should be a balanced discussion of both views and a clear personal standpoint, all within the scope of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • standard of living
  • sustainable development
  • social equality
  • environmental degradation
  • cultural heritage
  • technological innovation
  • wealth disparity
  • human development index
  • holistic approach
  • quality of life
  • economic prosperity
  • healthcare system
  • education system
  • cultural diversity
  • policy decisions
What to do next:
Look at other essays: