It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn the distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parent and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children?

It is essential for

children

Use synonyms

from an early age to gain

the

Correct article usage

show examples

understanding

about

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show examples

what is appropriate and not.

Hence

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, there is an opinion that to learn

this

Linking Words

children

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need to be punished

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apply

show examples

so that they can realise the difference. I totally disagree with

this

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statement, and

this

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essay will explain why. First and foremost,

punishment

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does not teach

children

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Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but develops fear and stress.

This

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means that

instead

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of learning a lesson from a situation, the child is just afraid to get caught.

Hence

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, young people start still committing bad actions, trying not to be noticed by parents or teachers, as they do not want to be punished, especially physically.

For example

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, physical

punishment

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in Russia still holds

merrit

Correct your spelling

merit

, because many parents believe that

this

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is the only way to make their

children

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listen.

However

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, the research showed that

this

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method puts a gap between a child and a parent, breaking a connection.

Moreover

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, in many countries, physical

punishment

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is the main reason why young individuals run from their homes and decide to stay

homless

Correct your spelling

homeless

. Gentle and caring approaches provide youngsters

knowledge

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with knowledge

show examples

of how to function as normal members of society who have an idea about morals and norms. Careful explanation

instead

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punishment

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leads to

deep

Add an article

a deep

show examples

understanding

about

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show examples

inappropriate behaviour, making a person

Fix the infinitive

apply

show examples

reflect on the situation. If the child is being explained and asked about

negative

Correct article usage

the negative

show examples

consequences of their actions, they will not commit it again.

For instance

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, in

Australian

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the Australian

show examples

curriculum,

children

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are taught to value feelings of each other and to cultivate

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

essential qualities,

such

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as empathy, kindness and

generousity

Correct your spelling

generosity

Children

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practice

to identify

Change the verb form

identifying

show examples

emotions and

then

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participate in some activities,

such

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as identifying

particilular

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particular

emotions,

such

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as sadness or anger, and seeing reasons for them.

Consequently

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, people from an early age learn how to treat each other, with respect and care, to avoid conflicts and arguments. In conclusion, even though, in some countries

punishment

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stilll

Correct your spelling

still

makes sense, I truly believe that it does not make a person better, but

instead

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, detriment their wellbeing. By educating

children

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about moral and social norms with patience and love,

children

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gain

truly

Rephrase

a true

show examples

understanding of how to behave in

this

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world.

innakireeva0101

Dec 28, 2023

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Coherence and Cohesion

Ensure that your essay has a clear and logical structure which consistently flows from the introduction to the conclusion. Distinct paragraphs for separate ideas may contribute to a clearer argument.

Coherence and Cohesion

Every main point you make must be supported by specific examples or evidence to strengthen the argument and demonstrate a deep understanding of the topic.

Task Achievement

It is crucial to fully address all parts of the task to achieve a higher performance. Make sure to provide a clear opinion on the topic and thorough responses to all questions asked.

Task Achievement

Develop your ideas comprehensively to showcase a better understanding of the topic. Aim to include different perspectives and a well-rounded argument to engage with the task more effectively.

Task Achievement

Utilize relevant examples to back up your ideas. Detailed, specific examples enhance the depth of your argument and provide a better insight into your reasoning.

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

363 words

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