IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

All cars that burn fossil fuels should be banned and electric cars should replace them. Do you agree or disagree?

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In
this
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 fast-paced era, automobiles have become an irreplaceable part of our lives.Whether or not conventional fuel-burning
cars
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 should be banned is inevitably a debatable issue.
However
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, I insistently agree that electric
cars
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 must eventually supersede those
cars
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 .
First
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 and most paramount issue is pollution ,which supports the idea of banning
the
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fuel-burning
cars
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. Environmentally friendly electric vehicles work with only a battery which is connected to a monitor screen with no gasoline burned and
therefore
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 no exhaust fumes eluted. Hopefully,if they eventually can manage to persuade society to purchase and drive ,the air quality will undoubtedly rise.
For example
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, in Dubai, a local magazine illustrated data of
a
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research that the 10000 new electric automobiles that were imported and utilized by the public, led to a 20% decrease in the number of asthma patients.
Secondly
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, charging the battery is literally way more affordable than filling up the fuel tank. The majority of metropolitan cities ,provide charging stations for communal use which is either of a negligible price or even it is free in most accessible areas.
On the contrary
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 ,gasoline price is one of the main life expenses that people have to take into account.
For instance
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, my uncle recently bought a Tesla car and sold his other fuel-engine
cars
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 to avoid driving them. Not surprisingly he saved approximately 200 dollars per month from oil that he did not have to put in an electronic-based automobile. In conclusion , electric
cars
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 must supersede oil-using
cars
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 as soon as possible , and it is highly supported that heads of countries should prohibit those pollution-eluting fuel
cars
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 to cease the pollution crises, and
also
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 alleviate the extra expenses from the people and insurance corporations' shoulders.

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task achievement
Carefully review the prompt to ensure that your arguments consistently address all aspects of the question. For instance, the essay could better differentiate between the benefits of electric cars and the drawbacks of fossil fuel-powered vehicles.
task achievement
Develop ideas more fully by including additional relevant details, reasons, and examples. This can reinforce the strength of your points and make your argument more compelling.
coherence and cohesion
Improve coherence by refining the flow between paragraphs and integrating more transitional phrases. This will help readers follow the progression of your thoughts more easily.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-presented and align with the arguments made in the body of the essay.
task achievement
You’ve used specific examples to support your main points, such as the Dubai magazine study and your uncle's experience with a Tesla car.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • fossil fuels
  • emissions
  • air pollution
  • greenhouse gases
  • climate change
  • sustainable
  • renewable
  • electric vehicles
  • battery technology
  • charging infrastructure
  • range anxiety
  • government support
  • incentives
  • subsidies
  • renewable energy
  • environmental impact
  • energy efficiency
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