In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#countries #people #population #governments #society

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In our modern world, most portion of

population

Add an article

the population

show examples

are

Change the verb form

show examples

elder

people

Use synonyms

and the number of youngsters

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

decrease

Wrong verb form

decreasing

show examples

becuase

Correct your spelling

because

of the birth rate.Some

people

Use synonyms

ague

Correct your spelling

argue

show examples

that it may

creat

Correct your spelling

create

show examples

troubles

Fix the agreement mistake

trouble

show examples

for

government

Correct article usage

the government

show examples

and

public

Correct article usage

the public

show examples

This

Linking Words

phenomenon has pros and cons,

however

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

essay will express that the

advntages

Correct your spelling

advantages

outweigh the drawbacks.

Firstly

Linking Words

, the issue

occurs

Correct pronoun usage

that occurs

show examples

to many families when

they

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

parents

Use synonyms

get old is

expense

Add an article

the expense

an expense

show examples

While

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

live longer, they may get retirement and they should be supported financially by

thier

Correct your spelling

their

children or governments.

Usually

Add a comma

Usually,

show examples

they

got

Wrong verb form

get

show examples

sick

becuase

Correct your spelling

because

of their age and

fimily

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family

will experience a huge amount of costs .

Moreover

Linking Words

, they may not get retirement

Linking Words

therefore

Add the comma(s)

, therefore

show examples

, they can fill the job

possition

Correct your spelling

position

instead

Linking Words

yougers

Correct your spelling

yours

youngers

.If

this

Linking Words

trend continues the number of

unempolyed

Correct your spelling

unemployed

adults will increase and it

creats

Correct your spelling

creates

many problems

such

Linking Words

as anxiety and depression for them.

In contrast

Linking Words

, older

people

Use synonyms

have a lot of benefits in terms of

expreince

Correct your spelling

experience

and supporting youngsters.

Grand

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Grandparents

show examples

parents

Use synonyms

have a huge data about subjects that are useful for adults

such

Linking Words

as methods of controlling children.Many women that have

thier

Correct your spelling

their

first child have trouble with their child and

grand

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grandparents

show examples

parents

Use synonyms

are experts who can deal with

this

Linking Words

issue.In

addiotion

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addition

, they usually have a lot of save in their bank account and they prefer to invest them

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show examples

their family members .

For instance

Linking Words

, a man who wants to be a mechanic

need

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needs

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some

mony

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money

for

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show examples

buyig

Correct your spelling

buy

his tools and his

parents

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can give him some part of their

save

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saves

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to meet the tools. In

coclusion

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conclusion

,there are some drawbacks

with

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show examples

rising

Correct your spelling

raising

show examples

the the age of living

such

Linking Words

cost

Correct article usage

the cost

show examples

of health and lack of job

possition

Correct your spelling

position

positions

and

Linking Words

this problems

Change the determiner

this problem

these problems

show examples

can bring pressure on governments and

public

Correct article usage

the public

show examples

However

Linking Words

,in my

opinion

Add a comma

opinion,

show examples

the advantages like their support and

experince

Correct your spelling

experience

can balance the cons.

Submitted by mohammad.bameri.1380 on Thu Dec 28 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Your introduction should present the topic and your thesis statement clearly. Each body paragraph should contain one main idea, supported by details and examples. The conclusion should summarise your main points and restate your opinion without introducing new information.

coherence cohesion

Avoid grammatical errors by proofreading your work. Inconsistent subject-verb agreement, incorrect use of articles, and spelling mistakes can detract from the overall quality of your writing. Consider revisiting grammar rules and practicing with exercises to improve your accuracy.

coherence cohesion

Work on developing a more complex sentence structure to convey your ideas more effectively. This includes the use of proper punctuation, a variety of sentence types, and logical connectors. Practicing sentence transformation exercises may help in achieving greater syntactical variety.

task achievement

Make sure to fully address the task by discussing both viewpoints as well as your own if that's what's required. It's also important to extend and support your arguments with specific examples or evidence for a higher task completion score.

task achievement

Use a range of vocabulary appropriate for the topic, being careful with word choice and avoiding repetition. Building your lexical resource through reading and use of synonyms can greatly improve the variety of language used in your writing.

task achievement

Clarify your position throughout your essay, making sure that your opinion is consistently and clearly expressed in the introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Hone your argumentative skills to construct coherent and persuasive positions, which is key in achieving a high task response score.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
44
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

294 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

ageing population
benefits
disadvantages
advantages
experience
knowledge
contribution
economy
society
healthcare
youth employment
community
intergenerational support
volunteerism
mentorship
increased demand
pension costs
social welfare systems
workforce
productivity
intergenerational conflict
technological adaptability
dependency
effective
skill development
employment opportunities
intergenerational solidarity
communication
lifelong learning
technological literacy
age-friendly
social policies
infrastructure

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people argue that young people are unfit for holding significant positions in the government, while others maintain that it is beneficial for them to occupy such roles. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People learn things better from those at their own level—such as fellow students or co-workers—than from those at a higher level, such as teachers or supervisors. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

In many countries, people decide to have children at a later age than in the past. Why? Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Many museums charge admission fees while others are free. Do the advantages of charging people to visit a museum outweigh the disadvantages?