IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Trees are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world do you think this is a positive or negative development give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge

#trees #people #products #world #development
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Nowadays , Export and import of the products are increasing day by day across the
country
Use synonyms
 . I believe
this
Linking Words
 is a positive development between the countries to maintain healthy
relation
Fix the agreement mistake
relations
show examples
 and growth in
Use synonyms
country's
Correct article usage
the country's
show examples
 economy . I will discuss
further
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 why sending material from one
country
Use synonyms
 to another
country
Use synonyms
 or region is a positive development with some examples from
newspaper
Fix the agreement mistake
newspapers
show examples
 and
journal
Fix the agreement mistake
journals
show examples
.
To begin
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 with , People are extremely happy as they are getting
Use synonyms
product
Add an article
a product
the product
show examples
 of their choice
while
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 residing in the same city and without spending money on travel .
For instance
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, India is a hub of Ayurveda and these products are very good for skin and health. It has been revealed in the survey done by THE TIMES OF INDIA
because
Correct word choice
that because
show examples
 of
import
Correct article usage
the import
show examples
 of Patanjali Ayurveda
Use synonyms
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
 there is
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 immense growth
around
Change preposition
of around
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 30% in India's GDP.
In addition
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 , Some countries
produced
Wrong verb form
produce
show examples
 more medicines and vaccines because
raw
Add an article
the raw
show examples
material
Fix the agreement mistake
materials
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 for medicine
easily
Add a missing verb
are easily
show examples
 available in their
country
Use synonyms
 , as medicine is essential for all to treat disease . Each
country
Use synonyms
 has its own speciality and buying
those
Change the determiner
that product
those products
show examples
product
Use synonyms
 in your own
country
Use synonyms
 is the best thing.
Secondly
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 , Local
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brand
Fix the agreement mistake
brands
show examples
 going to vanish in front of international brands so it affects
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
local
humans emotion
Fix the agreement mistake
human emotions
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. People start thinking
as
Correct word choice
that
show examples
 we are
loosing
Replace the word
losing
show examples
 our identity .
for example
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 , Market survey done by
M.B.A
Correct your spelling
M.B.A.
 marketing students from Delhi
university
Capitalize word
University
show examples
, People always prefer to eat at
Dominos
Change noun form
Domino's
show examples
 Pizza
instead
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 of eating at any local
brand
Use synonyms
 . So indirectly ,
some times
Correct your spelling
sometimes
show examples
 local
Use synonyms
brand
Fix the agreement mistake
brands
show examples
 disappear and totally
vanished
Wrong verb form
vanish
show examples
 from the market.
To sum up
Linking Words
 , Getting products or delivering
Use synonyms
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
 different countries is
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 economic growth of
entire
Correct article usage
the entire
show examples
 nation so
Government
Correct article usage
the Government
show examples
 has to put some restrictions to avoid total hold of that particular
brand
Use synonyms
 in the market .
Submitted by preetiaug25 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph presents a clear main idea or argument and sticks to it throughout the paragraph. Avoid introducing unrelated ideas.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay could be improved by creating distinct paragraphs that flow from one to the next, each connecting logically. Transitions between paragraphs can aid in this flow.
coherence cohesion
Introduce the topic and your thesis statement more clearly in your introduction. Your conclusion should succinctly summarize your main points without introducing new information.
task achievement
Develop your main points more thoroughly with adequate support. Each point should be explored in more depth, with examples that are directly related and supportive of your argument. Try to elaborate on how the development affects different stakeholders.
task achievement
While you have provided examples in your essay, strive to use more specific and directly relevant examples that clearly support your arguments.
task achievement
Be sure to completely address all parts of the task. The essay should present a balanced view that covers both positive and negative aspects of the topic, with a clear position throughout.
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