IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

The process of producing edible oils and fats, and margarine.

#process #oils #fats #margarine
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The diagram illustrates the process of producing different three types of
oils
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, there are three main phases; enabling and storage
raw
Change preposition
of raw
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materials
Use synonyms
, production and packaging,
distribution
Correct word choice
and distribution
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 of these products.
In
Change the preposition
At
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 the beginning of
producing
Replace the word
production
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, harvested raw
materials
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
 as sunflowers, peanuts,
coconuts
Correct word choice
and coconuts
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 are transported from the farms to where they are
storaged
Correct your spelling
stored
 in silos.
After
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, these stored agricultural products
firstly
Linking Words
 are crushed and milled by machines that are toothed and toothless impellers.
Following
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, the pressing phase begins, whereby the oil
distills
Change the spelling
distils
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 from the raw
materials
Use synonyms
 .
Subsequently
Linking Words
, distilled
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
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 pass the filters so as to convey steam machines. By using these steam machines
obtain
Verb problem
apply
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three
oils
Use synonyms
 which are sunflower,coconut,
refined
Correct word choice
and refined
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oils
Use synonyms
 from these raw
materials
Use synonyms
 are
seperated
Correct your spelling
separated
 and packed. When
these
Correct pronoun usage
this
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 has been done, edible
oils
Use synonyms
, fats and margarines
are convey
Change the verb form
are conveyed
are conveying
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 to supermarkets and shops.
Finally
Linking Words
, in these supermarkets and shops, they are
submited
Correct your spelling
submitted
 to use for consumers.
Submitted by ilknurkaradmn on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure your essay has a clear logical structure, with a strong introduction and conclusion. Use clear paragraphing to separate distinct stages of the process.
coherence cohesion
Develop main points further with illustrations or examples relevant to the process being described, and ensure you cover each stage of the process in enough depth to satisfy the task requirements.
task achievement
To improve task achievement, address all parts of the prompt thoroughly. Ensure you understand and answer what the task is asking for, covering all stages of the process with sufficient detail and ensuring clarity in your explanation.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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