In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?
Nowadays, In some countries, families prefer to have their own
home
instead
of living in rented structures because if they do not buy a house this
year, they may not be able to have it later. I believe that owning a home
is positive and this
essay discusses the reason.
Generally, evidence shows that owning a home
is going to be hard and people with a low range of income are scared. For instance
, building prices are growing dramatically and in future, it will be a luxury item in many countries.Therefore
, a large proportion of the public wants to buy a house as soon as possible and end their renting.
In my point of view ,renting a building for a living can cause stress and anxiety for the supervisor of the family.For instance
, when the supervisor of a family loses their job for some months they may faced with a lack of money to rent their home
for the next months and this
can create stress for them.However
, this
is a problem in society that can be solved if people get their flat and it reduces their anxiety . This
is the reason that buying a home
is the correct action for the public in terms of mental health.
To sum up
, people are going to buy their homes instead
of renting because of the rising trend in the price of structures.In my opinion, this
belief is positive and it can Correct your spelling
reduce
reduc
Correct your spelling
reduce
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coherence cohesion
The essay does not conclude properly. It's crucial to ensure a clear conclusion that summarizes the essay's arguments and reiterates the writer's view to maximize coherence.
coherence cohesion
The structure of the essay needs improvement. Paragraphs should be well-organized with clear topic sentences that guide the reader. Transitions between ideas need to be smooth to assist the reader in understanding the argument's progression.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with more specific examples and explanations to strengthen your arguments. This includes providing concrete data, real-world examples, or hypothetical scenarios that directly relate to the prompt.
task achievement
Incomplete Response - The essay needs a complete conclusion to fulfill the requirements of the IELTS task. Leaving an essay incomplete can significantly affect the task achievement score.
task achievement
Develop your ideas further for a more comprehensive response. Each paragraph should contain one clear main idea and a thorough explanation or example to support it.
task achievement
Use relevant, specific examples to support each point. These examples help to demonstrate the validity of your statements and offer a tangible element for the reader to grasp, contributing to a higher score in task response.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite