Many young people regularly change their jobs over the years. What are the reasons for this? Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

After graduation, many people
persue
Correct your spelling
pursue
a career, yet just after a
while
they leave the job they have worked so hard to achieve.
This
phenomenon mostly
accure
Correct your spelling
occurs
for the youth of the new
generation
. There are many reasons for
this
event,
however
, the new mindset of
this
generation
is mainly to blame.
While
others might view
this
as a negative outcome, the advantages are
definately
Correct your spelling
definitely
more. To start off,
as a result
of the technological advancement
this
generation
has witnessed, life has been easy and as
they
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
please
Wrong verb form
pleases
show examples
. They are led to believe the world
revoleves
Correct your spelling
revolves
around them and will flee with the first
inconvinience
Correct your spelling
inconvenience
that comes
thier
Correct your spelling
their
way.
Thus
we can see the mass silent quiting and job changes they have.
Furthermore
,
this
generation
will not take any hardship and would rather change
careares
Correct your spelling
careers
instead
of having a direct conflict.
Moreover
, they are used to learning new things in order to get by,
mening
Correct your spelling
meaning
they will get used to the new work environment with ease. On the one hand, there are some cons to
this
behavior as the current corporate world is not ready for it. Many people,
espcially
Correct your spelling
especially
those who have already climbed the corporate ladder, will insist on the unfavourable outcome of
quiting
Correct your spelling
quitting
so much on a
persons
Change to a genitive case
person's
show examples
life. If an individual quits their job, not only
it
Add a missing verb
does it
show examples
effects
Replace the word
affects
show examples
their resume, but it even denies them of future
oppertunities
Correct your spelling
opportunities
of
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for
show examples
promothion
Correct your spelling
promotion
.
On the other hand
, the way
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
youngsters are changing
work places
Correct your spelling
workplaces
show examples
is quite unique and even has a bright future in sight. They do not stand for any of the
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
the older
generation
unwillingly went through.
As a result
, the work environment will be more suited to the
need
Fix the agreement mistake
needs
show examples
of people and organizations
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
be forced to go under
reconstructions
Fix the agreement mistake
reconstruction
show examples
in order to match the
need
Fix the agreement mistake
needs
show examples
of employees.
For instance
, in the Covid era, more than half of the companies in the US had to
under go
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undergo
show examples
numreous
Correct your spelling
numerous
changes to
compencate
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compensate
for the
peoples
Change noun form
people's
show examples
needs,
otherwise
they would go bankrupt
as a result
of mass
quiting
Correct your spelling
quitting
. In conclusion,
while
the lifestyle and mindset of the younger
generation
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
led to many of them
quiting thier
Correct your spelling
quitting their
jobs, it has
yeild
Correct your spelling
yield
yielded
some impressive results that outweigh the phenomenon's disadvantages.
Submitted by mohammad.bameri.1380 on

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coherence cohesion
The essay fails to provide a well-structured argument with clear logical progression. Consider using more connective words and clear paragraphing to create a logical sequence of points.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion were present, but not clearly delineated or effectively summarised. Focus on creating a strong opening statement and a summarised closing paragraph to clearly present your stance on the topic.
coherence cohesion
There is an attempt to support main points, but the support is often either too general or incomplete. Specifically, consider using relevant, detailed examples to substantiate your arguments and provide a deeper analysis of the points raised.
task achievement
The essay partially addresses the prompt, but the response is incomplete and lacks a clear position throughout the essay. Ensure that you fully address all parts of the task, including the reasons for job changes and a clear evaluation of whether advantages outweigh disadvantages.
task achievement
The ideas are somewhat clear, but not comprehensive. They lack the depth and detail necessary for a strong argument. Expand on your points with more specifics and clarity to effectively communicate your perspective.
task achievement
The use of specific examples to support the argument is weak and infrequent. To strengthen your essay, incorporate relevant and specific examples that are directly linked to the points being made.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • career aspirations
  • dynamic workplace
  • job-hopping
  • job opportunities
  • technological advancements
  • job market
  • job satisfaction
  • work-life balance
  • higher salaries
  • career progression
  • diverse skill set
  • work cultures
  • professional asset
  • stability
  • commitment
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