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Band 3.5

the graph below shows the number of university graduatesin canada from 1992 to 2007

the graph below shows the number of university graduatesin canada from 1992 to 2007
#university #graduatesin #canada
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The graph below represents the figure of both
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 and
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 who got the certificate of university graduation from 1992 to 2006.
Overall
Linking Words
, we can recognize the number of female university graduates in
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
all years was higher than the male. In 1992, the figure
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
the
Remove the article
apply
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both graduates was the lowest during the
periods
Fix the agreement mistake
period
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,
as of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
70,000 and 100,000
in
Change preposition
for
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 each
of
Change preposition
apply
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male and female.
However
Linking Words
, more and more people
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 both
gender
Fix the agreement mistake
genders
show examples
 graduated from university as time goes by. In 2006, the number of
female's
Change noun form
female
show examples
 graduates was nearly 150,000 and the
male's
Change the noun form
males
male
show examples
 was about 95,000. The line graph
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the
male's
Change the noun form
males
male
show examples
 showed
mutiple
Correct your spelling
multiple
 times
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
up and down during the whole period
whereas
Linking Words
 the line graph
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the
female's
Change the noun form
females
female
show examples
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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recorded
the
Change preposition
as the
show examples
 only one decreasing line from 1996 to 1998.
Submitted by pjh011205 on

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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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