IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

People today increasingly use credit cards to make monthly purchases. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

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Usage of
credit
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cards
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 is a very important debate throughout the world.
Now a days
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Nowadays
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, every individual owns a
credit
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card
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. Having a
credit
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card
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 has its pros and cons. In
this
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 essay, I will be discussing
about
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apply
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both
the
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apply
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aspects.
Credit
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cards
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 can be of great help to
people
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 who rely on monthly paychecks or who get paid on
hourly
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an hourly
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 basis.
People
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 can swipe the
cards
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 at times of need and repay the amount later. The ease of using
credit
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cards
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 at various outlets like shopping malls, hospitals, restaurants etc, has increased its demand.
Apart from
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this
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, banks offer many benefits with
credit
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cards
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for
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, for
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example
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, airport lounge access, reward points etc.
For
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example
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, I can access both domestic and international airport lounges four times a year with the help of my
credit
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card
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. For every
credit
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card
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 swipe,
bank
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the bank
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 rewards points which can be
further
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 used in other transactions.
On the other hand
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, there are many disadvantages to having a
credit
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card
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.
For
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example
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,
people
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 tend to shop
impuslive
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impulsive
impulsively
 because of
credit
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cards
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. They tend to buy items that are not required.
Apart from
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this
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,
credit
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card
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cards
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 are often exposed to
secuity
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security
breach
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breaches
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.
For
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example
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, my
credit
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card
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 was recently used
virutally
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virtually
 without my knowledge from a different part of the world. I had to register a complaint and follow a bunch of procedures for the bank to reverse the
fradulent
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fraudulent
 transactions. Other
that
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than
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this
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,
people
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 often tend to miss paying
credit
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card
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 bills. Banks levy heavy
penatly
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penalty
 in
such
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 cases. Extensive use of any
such
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 facility is not good for anyone.
Hence
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, if
credit
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cards
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 are used in the right way they can act as a boon.But, I personally believe in not using a
credit
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card
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 as there are many security issues.

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Task Achievement
Task response could be improved by ensuring that both sides of the argument are covered in equal depth and that the writer's opinion is clear throughout the essay. The prompt requires the writer to discuss whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, which needs a balanced comparison and a clear stance.
Coherence & Cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, the essay should have a clear progression of ideas with each paragraph smoothly transitioning to the next. Use a wider range of cohesive devices to link ideas within and across sentences and paragraphs. Always make sure your introduction and conclusion are clear and differentiate them from the rest of the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cashless transactions
  • Financial footprint
  • Interest rates
  • Credit score
  • Consumerism
  • Debt accumulation
  • Expenditure tracking
  • Fraudulent activities
  • Overspending
  • Purchase protection
  • Revolving credit
  • Creditworthiness
  • Impulse buying
  • Secured credit card
  • Unsecured credit card
  • Spending limit
What to do next:
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