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Band 4.5

People today increasingly use credit cards to make monthly purchases. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #credit #cards #purchases #outweigh
Usage of
credit
cards
 is a very important debate throughout the world.
Now a days
Correct the word
Nowadays
show examples
, every individual owns a
credit
card
. Having a
credit
card
 has its pros and cons. In
this
 essay, I will be discussing
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
aspects.
Credit
cards
 can be of great help to
people
 who rely on monthly paychecks or who get paid on
hourly
Add an article
an hourly
show examples
 basis.
People
 can swipe the
cards
 at times of need and repay the amount later. The ease of using
credit
cards
 at various outlets like shopping malls, hospitals, restaurants etc, has increased its demand.
Apart from
this
, banks offer many benefits with
credit
cards
for
Add the comma(s)
, for
show examples
example
, airport lounge access, reward points etc.
For
example
, I can access both domestic and international airport lounges four times a year with the help of my
credit
card
. For every
credit
card
 swipe,
bank
Correct article usage
the bank
show examples
 rewards points which can be
further
 used in other transactions.
On the other hand
, there are many disadvantages to having a
credit
card
.
For
example
,
people
 tend to shop
impuslive
Correct your spelling
impulsive
impulsively
 because of
credit
cards
. They tend to buy items that are not required.
Apart from
this
,
credit
card
Fix the agreement mistake
cards
show examples
 are often exposed to
secuity
Correct your spelling
security
breach
Fix the agreement mistake
breaches
show examples
.
For
example
, my
credit
card
 was recently used
virutally
Correct your spelling
virtually
 without my knowledge from a different part of the world. I had to register a complaint and follow a bunch of procedures for the bank to reverse the
fradulent
Correct your spelling
fraudulent
 transactions. Other
that
Correct word choice
than
show examples
this
,
people
 often tend to miss paying
credit
card
 bills. Banks levy heavy
penatly
Correct your spelling
penalty
 in
such
 cases. Extensive use of any
such
 facility is not good for anyone.
Hence
, if
credit
cards
 are used in the right way they can act as a boon.But, I personally believe in not using a
credit
card
 as there are many security issues.
Submitted by sai.shruti17.d on

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Task Achievement
Task response could be improved by ensuring that both sides of the argument are covered in equal depth and that the writer's opinion is clear throughout the essay. The prompt requires the writer to discuss whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, which needs a balanced comparison and a clear stance.
Coherence & Cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, the essay should have a clear progression of ideas with each paragraph smoothly transitioning to the next. Use a wider range of cohesive devices to link ideas within and across sentences and paragraphs. Always make sure your introduction and conclusion are clear and differentiate them from the rest of the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cashless transactions
  • Financial footprint
  • Interest rates
  • Credit score
  • Consumerism
  • Debt accumulation
  • Expenditure tracking
  • Fraudulent activities
  • Overspending
  • Purchase protection
  • Revolving credit
  • Creditworthiness
  • Impulse buying
  • Secured credit card
  • Unsecured credit card
  • Spending limit
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