IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with prediction for 2030 and 2040.

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with prediction for 2030 and 2040.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The given line graph shows information regarding the population who live in cities in four Asian states over 50 years between 1970 and 2020, including projections for the next 10 years and 20 years. Units are measured in percentage of the total population.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can clearly be seen that all of the countries experienced a gradual increase throughout the period, and
this
Linking Words
 increase will continue till 2040.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 the
Philippines
Use synonyms
 was the highest percentage at the start, it had been overtaken by
Malaysia
Use synonyms
at the end
Linking Words
 of the period. At the beginning of the period, the
Philippines
Use synonyms
 and
Malaysia
Use synonyms
 started at around 30%, yet the
Philippines
Use synonyms
 began slightly above
Malaysia
Use synonyms
. By 2020,
Malaysia
Use synonyms
 significantly rose and peaked at almost 80%,
while
Linking Words
 the
Philippines
Use synonyms
 after experiencing quite substantial growth of 15% in 1990,
then
Linking Words
 slightly plunged to approximately 45% in 2020.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, two countries with lower percentages at the start Thailand and Indonesia started at just below 20% and above 10%, respectively. In 2000, they both noticeably soared and converged at 30%. From
this
Linking Words
 point onwards, Indonesia witnessed a major growth of 25% and peaked at 50%,
in contrast
Linking Words
 with Thailand which had a steady movement until 2020. Looking forward, predictions indicate
further
Linking Words
 growth in city populations across all four states. By 2040, it is estimated that
Malaysia
Use synonyms
 will have the largest percentage of city inhabitants, nearing 85%, followed by Indonesia at around 65%. The figures for the
Philippines
Use synonyms
 and Thailand are projected to be approximately 55% and 50%, respectively.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words philippines, malaysia with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: