Most countries spend large amounts of money on weapons to defend themselves though they are not at war. Some believe those countries should spend the money to help poor countries. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement?
A school of thought holds that governments should allocate money to help underdeveloped
nations
instead
of spending on boosting their military prowess because they are not facing imminent
threat of war. In my opinion, I agree with Correct article usage
the imminent
this
view.
On the one hand, there are several reasons reinforcing
military strength is Rephrase
why reinforcing
of
Change preposition
apply
importance
for a nation, even Replace the word
important
at
peacetime. First and foremost, a capable armed force plays a vital role in not only territorial sovereignty but Change preposition
during
also
national security and stability of a country. This
is because having a military capacity would allow a quick response to potential threats such
as terrorist attacks and deter other nations
from threatening its
territorial integrity. Correct pronoun usage
their
However
, constantly boosting military strength and testing new weapons may give rise to an escalating arms race that can cause tensions and even conflicts between countries, especially neighbouring nations
.
On the other hand
, I strongly believe that a portion of the defense
budget could be allocated to addressing global poverty and humanitarian crises. Change the spelling
defence
This
is because many wars and conflicts in the world derive from poverty, inequality and oppression, which create desperation and resentment among people. Hence
, by providing financial support to poorer countries, developed nations
can help impoverished ones address the root of their problems, such
as lack of education, health care and democracy. This
would improve not only the living standards and human rights of millions of people,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
a sense of solidarity and cooperation between nations
. As a result
, the world would become a safer and more harmonious place, where weapons are less needed. Moreover
, the reallocation of defense
funds will Change the spelling
defence
also
lead to a reduction in the number of weapon tests and the amount
of greenhouse gases Change the quantifier
number
as well as
the detrimental environmental impacts of defense
industries will be lessened.
In conclusion, Change the spelling
defence
although
it is important to reinforce the armed force
, superpowers should use their resources and influence to improve the lives of others, as Fix the agreement mistake
forces
this
would have positive impacts on global peace as well as
the environment.Submitted by weezel on
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task achievement
Ensure that all main points are fully developed with specific examples to strengthen the argument.
coherence cohesion
Work on linking points more smoothly for enhanced coherence, and use a wider variety of cohesive devices to connect ideas more effectively.
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