Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

The prevailing narrative suggests that contemporary adolescents tend to spend significant hours on their smartphones.
While
there are underlying causes for
this
trend, the remarkable versatility of these devices. I assert that
this
phenomenon is predominantly positive.
To begin
with, the primary reason for
this
inclination is the multifunctionality of modern mobile phones, catering to a wide range of users' needs through advanced technologies. These devices empower students to both study and engage in leisure activities.
For example
, they can be utilized not only for language learning but
also
for playing digital games.
In contrast
, individuals in the past had to rely on printed materials and television for education and entertainment. The advent of all-in-one devices renders various means of learning and amusement potentially obsolete.
Furthermore
, educational applications, often employing innovative teaching methods, are instrumental in enhancing learning efficiency.
Consequently
, it is unequivocal that daily smartphone usage is beneficial for children.
As a result
,
this
trend can be viewed as a wholesome development
due to
its numerous advantages. Primarily, modern phones serve educational purposes, making lessons more engaging and efficient.
Additionally
, these tools offer a plethora of entertaining activities for the youth.
However
, they are susceptible to toxic programs and fake news prevalent on the internet.
Hence
, strict supervision by parents is tremendously vital to mitigate potential adverse effects on children. In conclusion, advanced cell phones boast numerous features beneficial for both study and entertainment, leading to their widespread daily use among young people. I firmly believe that
this
inclination is positive when accompanied by proper guidance and supervision.
Submitted by chungoc2001 on

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coherence cohesion
You should ensure that the structure of your essay is clear, with logical sequencing of ideas. Paragraphs must be well-organized, each with a single main idea that is developed sufficiently.
coherence cohesion
Make sure that your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion that effectively outline the main ideas of the essay and restate the position taken.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with clear, related examples. The examples you provide should directly reinforce the argument you are making.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task by ensuring that your response adequately discusses all components of the prompt. You must provide a well-developed treatment of the topic, including potential negatives if you argue for a positive development, or vice versa.
task achievement
Present ideas clearly and develop them comprehensively. Your essay should include a progression of ideas that leads the reader through your arguments in a logical way.
task achievement
Use specific examples to substantiate your arguments. The examples should be detailed and relevant to the question prompt, rather than generic or superficial.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • smartphones
  • usage
  • technology
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • entertainment
  • gaming
  • social media
  • communication
  • educational resources
  • addiction
  • dependence
  • negative effects
  • physical health
  • mental health
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