IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many people no longer read newspapers or watch TV news programmes. Instead they get news about the world from the Internet. Is this a positive or negative development?

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Nowadays, because of
the
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apply
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modern technology, the way
of
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apply
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people
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 receive knowledge and
information
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 has dramatically changed. Most
people
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 obtain news from the
Internet
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 rather than read newspapers or watch television channels. Personally,
this
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 will definitely have a negative impact on obtaining
information
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, the following content will outline the reasons.
Firstly
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, news
informs
Verb problem
provides
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 more accurate and correct
information
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 to the public. Before journalists publish the news, there are several procedures to ensure the details of the events.
For example
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, there is a protest
happened
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happening
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 on the street, where is the location, the influence of the strike and who are the participants
.
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?
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 After the checking process,
then
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people
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 can obtain the correct
information
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 without
misunderstand
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misunderstanding
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.
In addition
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, most
Internet
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 users are normal
people
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 without training,
some
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and some
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 professional knowledge which is informed by them could be incorrect,
in contrast
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, well-training journalists could avoid
this
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 situation.
Furthermore
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, most
Internet
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information
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 is published without censorship, which means there are more sensitive and inappropriate
post
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posts
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 or videos on the
Internet
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. In order to protect certain age
range
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ranges
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,
such
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 as teenagers or adolescents,
violent
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violence
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, porn or sensitive issues are filtered on the TV and
newspapers
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in newspapers
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.
However
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, surfers post and share
the
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stories and events immediately on the
Internet
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withut
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without
 any censorship,
this
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 might cause
younger
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the younger
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 generation a negative impact
to
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on
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 their future because of the negative and
unproper
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improper
information
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. In conclusion, it is undoubted that the free use of
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Internet
Add an article
the Internet
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 provides us
a
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with a
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large amount of knowledge,
nevertheless
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, its potential risk,
for instance
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, wrong messages to the public and negative
information
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 which could affect children's growth could not be ignored and should be limited.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure logical sequencing of paragraphs and full development of ideas throughout, linking them clearly to main topic.
coherence cohesion
Expand the introduction with a clearer position statement and provide a more developed conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Further support main points with clear, specific examples and consider illustrating arguments with personal experience or external references.
task achievement
Cover all parts of the prompt, ensuring an in-depth exploration of the issues with a clear opinion maintained throughout.
task achievement
Clarify and illustrate ideas with comprehensive details, ensuring they are fully developed rather than simply stated.
task achievement
Include a wider range of examples to support ideas, selecting information that directly relates to the key points discussed in the prompt.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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