Some people argue that capital punishment is good for the country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Nowadays, some people believe that a penalty can bring more benefits to a nation. I completely agree with

this

statement, and I will explain

further

this

essay. A key reason supporting my stance is that actual punishment has the potential to discourage individuals from repeating similar mistakes in the future.

This

is because they gain a better understanding of rules and the consequences of executing criminal

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

For example

, if someone has been incarcerated for a period, they will comprehend the challenges of living far from home and in proximity to other criminals, which is less comfortable than residing in a private home.

As a result

, they are more likely to follow the rules and share their negative experiences, deterring others from entering a prison cell. Another reason for my argument is that people who have already been punished by the law will have lower self-esteem than others. They tend to be more isolated and used to staying away from crowds because they feel not welcome in their surroundings, which can lead to frustration and stress in the long run.

As a result

, they do not want to socialize with other participants on many occasions which can lead to another assault.

Finally

, the government will fund less budget on prisoners because the majority of society already understands the consequences of breaking the rule. They will focus more on building people’s

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

that would improve many nations’ quality of life, rather than spending money on a massive campaign related to avoiding crime.

Therefore

, other people who used to commit crimes will find it less beneficial to disobey the regulation.

To conclude

, I agree that the death penalty can bring the betterment of society in several aspects. The possibility of individual discouragement and a decreasing self-esteem of ex-inmates will lead to more prisoner’s budget.

Submitted by hilmi.santiago.alif on Fri Dec 29 2023

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Coherence and Cohesion

Ensure consistent use of terms. Your essay confusingly intermingles terms 'actual punishment', 'prison', and 'capital punishment', which can lead to misunderstanding. Stick to the topic of capital punishment if that is the focus of your essay.

Coherence and Cohesion

Focus on building clear logical structures within paragraphs by ensuring each paragraph has a clear main idea and that sentences within it flow logically from one to the next.

Task Response

Reflect on the relevance of your arguments. Ensure that they specifically address the question of capital punishment as a deterrent or moral issue and avoid veering off-topic into broad discussions on incarceration which might not be directly relevant to the given task.

Task Response

Support your arguments with more precise and relevant examples. Broad statements should be reinforced with specific instances or data where possible. This includes understanding the difference between traditional imprisonment and capital punishment.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

303 words

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