IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

As people rely more and more on technology to solve problems, the ability of humans to think for themselves will surely deteriorate. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is widely believed that
,
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apply
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people
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 are depending more and more on
the
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apply
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technology
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 for resolving issues and the capacity for creativity in humans will certainly
limit
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be limited
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. Personally, I can neither
competely argee
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completely agree
 nor disagree with
this
Linking Words
satement
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statement
 for a variety
reasons
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of reasons
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. I partly
argee
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agree
argue
 that
people
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 nowadays are relying too much on available devices and applications.
This
Linking Words
 is because they are using over-reliance on
technology
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 and it can lead to reduced problem-solving skills and critical thinking.
For example
Linking Words
, some
provides
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provide
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such
Linking Words
 as calculators
diminishing
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diminish
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 basic math skills or GPS systems
affecting
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affect
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natural
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the natural
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 sense of direction.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, I
disargee
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disagree
 with the viewpoint that
this
Linking Words
 technological dependence does not always mean that human development is eliminated. One of the main reasons can be that the prior examples reveal that
technology
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 allows for
convinece
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convenience
. Some
devides
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devices
 like
phone
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phones
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,
computer
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computers
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, and
trainsportation
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transportation
 all give
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to give
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give
Remove the redundancy
apply
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people
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 more time to live more
effective
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effectively
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. In fact,
technology
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not
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does not
did not
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 give
uss
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us
 the ability to solve
the
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apply
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new problems, but it has the power to generate new
oness
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ones
 that did not exist before.
For instance
Linking Words
,
people
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 today need to use
technology
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 to update and
reforrm
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reform
 to suit with the
morden
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modern
 lifestyles. By increasing our reliance on
technology
Use synonyms
, impossible goals can now be achieved. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
technology
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 will always
marks
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mark
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 the human experience, from the discovery of fire to the development of the use of
technology
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. There will always be more extra problems for us to solve, both old and new,
understanding
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in understanding
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 the history of
the
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apply
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humanity.
Instead
Linking Words
 of
adopt
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adopting
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 a positive outlook we should remember
that
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apply
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the opportunities that
technology
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is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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a
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apply
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presents for expanding human creativity.

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coherence cohesion
Please ensure that your essay has a clear and logical structure. It seems that you have presented your points in a way that can be followed, but there could be more cohesion between them. Use linking devices effectively to guide the reader through your argument.
coherence cohesion
Make sure your introduction and conclusion are present and effectively paraphrase the question while clearly stating your opinion. Restate your main points in the conclusion to give a sense of closure to your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your main points need to be more developed. Each should be clearly stated and followed by supportive evidence or examples. Aim to expand your paragraphs to fully elaborate on your ideas.
task achievement
Your response is complete, but you should strive for more clarity and a more detailed expansion of your ideas to fully answer the question. Be comprehensive in your arguments and discuss all parts of the prompt in a balanced manner.
task achievement
Make sure your ideas are clear and easily understood. Work on expressing your thoughts more cohesively, and consider simplifying complex sentences that may be confusing.
task achievement
Include more relevant and specific examples to strengthen your argument. Examples help to illustrate your points and make your essay more persuasive.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Over-reliance
  • Cognitive capabilities
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Diminish
  • Augment
  • Natural sense of direction
  • Access to information
  • Cognitive development
  • Education reforms
  • Technological advancement
  • Nuanced position
  • Recapitulate
  • Affirm
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