Some people think that governments should ban dangerous sports, while others think people should have freedom to do any sports or activity. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Nowadays
people
in our society have several concerns about the practice of dangerous sports.
While
some particular individuals think that governments ought to ban those activities, others consider that anyone should be free to choose the
sport
that they most like, in spite of the risks. In my opinion, the latter statement is the most adequate in the modern world, since the liberty to practice any
sport
is a fundamental right
to
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for
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everyone,
besides
, a normal person knows the consequences. On the one hand, the part of the society
who
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that
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considers
to censure
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censuring
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extreme sports
state
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states
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their ideas
in
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on
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the base of the safety of the
performer
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performers
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and the spectators.
In addition
, many
people
had
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have
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passed away and others
had
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have
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suffered several injuries because of dangerous exercises, which in many cases
attracts
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attract
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the attention of children’s minds and
as a result
, they imitate these behaviours to feel the adrenaline in their own way.
For instance
, the bunch of kids that
wants
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want
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to pursue the example of many drivers that
participates
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participate
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in
the
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apply
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Formula One
,
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apply
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might start to drive at a high speed in their neighbourhoods, which
compromise
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compromises
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the security of their neighbours.
On the other hand
, some
people
argue that everyone should have the liberty to pick their own
sport
on the statement that everyone discovers his passions that
motivates
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motivate
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them to be happy and healthy at the same time.
Moreover
, stepping out of the comfort zone by doing extreme activities is
benefitial
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beneficial
for the well-being and expands the brain of the performers, but, it is
crutial
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crucial
critical
to have the
appropiate
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appropriate
equipment.
For instance
, a person who
discover
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discovers
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excitement
on
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about
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sky diving, the next
ocassion
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occasion
might try scuba diving,
as a result
, he will gain more
experiences
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experience
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and
adventurous
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be adventurous
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to share with others. In conclusion,
people
should be able to pick and practice any
sport
, since
the
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apply
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freedom is the essence of
the
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apply
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human beings,
nevertheless
, it's important that players have mental clarity to understand the risks and assume the consequences of their actions.
Submitted by vinape on

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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
Work on paraphrasing the prompt more effectively in the introduction and use a wider range of linking words to connect ideas.
task achievement
Fully develop all parts of the task with clear, relevant examples and explanations in each body paragraph.
task achievement
Be cautious with general statements or sweeping assertions. Include more nuanced arguments backed by specific examples.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • severe injuries
  • fatalities
  • base jumping
  • bull running
  • extreme skiing
  • safeguard
  • well-being
  • regulating
  • avoidable harm
  • healthcare costs
  • burdening
  • personal freedom
  • autonomy
  • training
  • equipment
  • mitigated
  • personal satisfaction
  • mental health benefits
  • resilience
  • adventure
  • assess risks
  • public safety
  • unnecessary healthcare costs
  • outright bans
  • balanced approach
  • stringent safety standards
  • mandatory training sessions
  • adequately informed
  • safeguarding
  • public health
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