Some people think that governments should ban dangerous sports, while others think people should have freedom to do any sports or activity. Discuss both views and give your own opinion
Nowadays
people
in our society have several concerns about the practice of dangerous sports. While
some particular individuals think that governments ought to ban those activities, others consider that anyone should be free to choose the sport
that they most like, in spite of the risks. In my opinion, the latter statement is the most adequate in the modern world, since the liberty to practice any sport
is a fundamental right to
everyone, Change preposition
for
besides
, a normal person knows the consequences.
On the one hand, the part of the society who
considers Correct pronoun usage
that
to censure
extreme sports Change the verb form
censuring
state
their ideas Change the verb form
states
in
the base of the safety of the Change preposition
on
performer
and the spectators. Fix the agreement mistake
performers
In addition
, many people
had
passed away and others Wrong verb form
have
had
suffered several injuries because of dangerous exercises, which in many cases Wrong verb form
have
attracts
the attention of children’s minds and Correct subject-verb agreement
attract
as a result
, they imitate these behaviours to feel the adrenaline in their own way. For instance
, the bunch of kids that wants
to pursue the example of many drivers that Change the verb form
want
participates
in Correct subject-verb agreement
participate
the
Formula OneCorrect article usage
apply
,
might start to drive at a high speed in their neighbourhoods, which Remove the comma
apply
compromise
the security of their neighbours.
Correct subject-verb agreement
compromises
On the other hand
, some people
argue that everyone should have the liberty to pick their own sport
on the statement that everyone discovers his passions that motivates
them to be happy and healthy at the same time. Correct subject-verb agreement
motivate
Moreover
, stepping out of the comfort zone by doing extreme activities is benefitial
for the well-being and expands the brain of the performers, but, it is Correct your spelling
beneficial
crutial
to have the Correct your spelling
crucial
critical
appropiate
equipment. Correct your spelling
appropriate
For instance
, a person who discover
excitement Change the verb form
discovers
on
sky diving, the next Change preposition
about
ocassion
might try scuba diving, Correct your spelling
occasion
as a result
, he will gain more experiences
and Fix the agreement mistake
experience
adventurous
to share with others.
In conclusion, Add a missing verb
be adventurous
people
should be able to pick and practice any sport
, since the
freedom is the essence of Correct article usage
apply
the
human beings, Correct article usage
apply
nevertheless
, it's important that players have mental clarity to understand the risks and assume the consequences of their actions.Submitted by vinape on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that supporting sentences are relevant and provide sufficient detail.
coherence cohesion
Work on paraphrasing the prompt more effectively in the introduction and use a wider range of linking words to connect ideas.
task achievement
Fully develop all parts of the task with clear, relevant examples and explanations in each body paragraph.
task achievement
Be cautious with general statements or sweeping assertions. Include more nuanced arguments backed by specific examples.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.
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