Some people think that governments should ban dangerous sports, while others think people should have freedom to do any sports or activity. Discuss both views and give your own opinion Some people think that governments should ban dangerous sports, while others think people should have freedom to do any sports or activity. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

#people #governments #ban #sports #freedom #activity

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While

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some

people

Use synonyms

believe that dangerous

sports

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should be prohibited to protect

people

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from harm, others argue that

people

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should have the freedom to do any

sports

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they

enjoyed

Wrong verb form

enjoy

show examples

, including extreme

sports

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Although

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both are justified, the latter seems to be more in line with my standpoint. On the one hand,

people

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argue that dangerous

sports

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must be banned because they can bring danger to

people

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and

creates

Correct subject-verb agreement

create

show examples

some tragedies for their families.

For example

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, bungee jumping and base jumping can be extremely hazardous, and in some cases, even fatal. Not only bungee jumping, but

also

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many other

sports

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such

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as High-Altitude-Jumps, Cliff-Diving, and Drag-racing caused many deaths yearly.

Therefore

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, the government should prohibit

such

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kinds of extreme

sports

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to protect

people

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from harm.

On the other hand

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, those who are against banning extreme

sports

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claim that

people

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should have the freedom to engage in the

activities

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they enjoy.

For instance

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, some

people

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enjoy skydiving, and it is their right to experience

this

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type of activity if they wish to do so.

Furthermore

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, extreme

sports

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allow

people

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to learn to overcome their

fear

Fix the agreement mistake

fears

show examples

and break through their limits, which is beneficial to improve

people

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's psychological quality.

Lastly

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, banning certain

sports

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activities

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can be seen as a violation of

people

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's freedom and rights, and will lead to many protests against the government.

To sum up

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, I believe

people

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have the right to pursue the

activities

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that they enjoy, but they should have appropriate measures to keep themselves in safety

such

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as governments regularly supervising the facilities of

sports

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companies and the areas where the

sports

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take place. In

this

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way,

people

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can still experience the thrill of extreme

sports

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and dangerous

activities

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while

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also

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being protected from potential harm.

Submitted by vinape on Fri Dec 29 2023

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Coherence Cohesion

For coherence and cohesion, ensure that your essay maintains a clear and logical structure throughout. Transition words and phrases should be used effectively to connect ideas and paragraphs. Pay attention to paragraph structuring, ensuring each one presents and develops a single clear idea.

Task Achievement

To achieve a higher task achievement score, you need to fully address all parts of the task. This requires you to discuss both views given in the question and provide relevant, detailed examples to support your arguments. Finally, your own opinion should be clear and developed thoroughly.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

289 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

severe injuries
fatalities
base jumping
bull running
extreme skiing
safeguard
well-being
regulating
avoidable harm
healthcare costs
burdening
personal freedom
autonomy
training
equipment
mitigated
personal satisfaction
mental health benefits
resilience
adventure
assess risks
public safety
unnecessary healthcare costs
outright bans
balanced approach
stringent safety standards
mandatory training sessions
adequately informed
safeguarding
public health

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