Many children are encouraged by their parents to get a part-time job in their free time. what are the advantages and disadvantages of children doing so.

#children #parents #job #time

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

A large number of parents are motivated by their young people to occupation during their leisure

time

Use synonyms

However

Linking Words

, after-school jobs like an excellent focus on the use of free

time

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

motivates some cons to impact. In

this

Linking Words

essay, I will discuss both sides of getting a part-

time

Use synonyms

job

Use synonyms

after school hours.

Firstly

Linking Words

, one of the pros of part-

time

Use synonyms

employment is that it will give young people real-life employment skills

such

Linking Words

as how to complete an occupation entreaty, how to face well interview.

For instance

Linking Words

according to

Linking Words

the Surely Keep by the University of California the majority of teenagers who used to work after school are getting their company than teenagers who have not had any work.

Therefore

Linking Words

, one of the pros of a part-

time

Use synonyms

engagement is it will give children real work experience.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, there are certain cons to going to a part-

time

Use synonyms

job

Use synonyms

for example

Linking Words

while

Linking Words

working students will not have

time

Use synonyms

to study and finish school-related homework. Because they will be exhausted and they will need

time

Use synonyms

for rest.

This

Linking Words

being busy with the

job

Use synonyms

while

Linking Words

learning might have part-

time

Use synonyms

employment lost in the future studies. In conclusion, a part-

time

Use synonyms

job

Use synonyms

during school years might offer some be if

its

Correct pronoun usage

show examples

to young people.

However

Linking Words

, the cons impact of working at a young age can not be overlooked. The student should be rejected from getting a

job

Use synonyms

if might affect their studies.

Submitted by manushamanu1024 on Fri Dec 29 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

The essay's logical structure is weak and does not flow in a coherent manner. Sentences are often fragmented and do not form a clear argument. Focus on creating a more logical structure by connecting ideas and creating clear paragraphs.

coherence cohesion

An introduction and conclusion are present but are not clearly articulated or effective in setting up and summarizing the main points of the essay. Work on creating a strong introduction that outlines your arguments and a conclusion that effectively summarizes them and gives a final opinion or recommendation.

coherence cohesion

While the essay attempts to support main points, the arguments presented are not fully developed or well-supported with specific examples or evidence. Strive to include clear, relevant examples that reinforce your main points, and explain how they relate to your argument.

task achievement

The response to the task is complete, but it lacks depth and clarity. Be sure to develop ideas more comprehensively to fully address the prompt. Avoid making broad statements without giving detailed explanations or examples.

task achievement

The ideas presented in the essay are somewhat clear, but they lack comprehensiveness and specificity, which would make them more persuasive and effective. Aim to clearly communicate your ideas by explaining them in greater detail and by providing specific, actionable examples.

task achievement

Examples provided are relevant, but they are not specific enough to effectively support the argument. Try to include more detailed and specific examples to illustrate your points and demonstrate a clear understanding of the topic.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

237 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5.5
band
In many countries, children are becoming overweight and unhealthy. Some people think that the government should have the responsibility. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Child obesity is becoming a common concern in most areas of the world. It is often argued that in most nations children are consuming unhygienic foods which is the leading cause of being overweight. However, some believe that to limit this issue the ministry should take strict steps to limit the growing challenge. In my opinion, it does not only depend on the government but parents also play a crucial role. Therefore I disagree with this statement, that the regime is only responsible.
7.5
band
In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?
Having a residence is considered essential for some individuals in certain countries instead of renting one. I believe that this is a positive trend for several reasons.
8.5
band
Research indicates that the characteristics we are born with have much more influence on our personality and development than any experiences we may have in our life. Which do you consider to be the major influence? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Research has established that personality and individual development are more significantly influenced by inherent characteristics than by external events encountered throughout life. While genetic predisposition undeniably plays a crucial role in shaping later developmental outcomes, it does not outweigh the influence exerted by life experiences. This essay aims to substantiate this assertion.
5
band
There is a lot of pressure on young people today to succeed academically. As a result, some people believe that non-academic subjects, such as physical education and cookery, should be removed from the school syllabus so that children can concentrate on academic work. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience
Young individuals are persuaded to perform better in academic works in todays context, part of the society commonly believed that academically non related areas such as physical education and cookery, should be removed from the school curriculum to accommodate and prioritised academic work.In my opinion, this leads to unhealthy young generation with lack of practical skills to strive in the society.Thus, this writer wholeheartedly disagrees with the captioned statement.
5
band
Environmental protection is the responsibility of politicians, not individuals as individuals can do too little. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
There are controversial perspectives heating a debate over environmental protection. While some hold a strong view that politicians should liable for environment pollution, the opposite makes a statement that citizens can do nothing much. From my point of view, everyone hasto contribute to assists politicians to protect our environment.

Many children are encouraged by their parents to get a part-time job in their free time. what are the advantages and disadvantages of children doing so.

Word Count

In many countries, children are becoming overweight and unhealthy. Some people think that the government should have the responsibility. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

Environmental protection is the responsibility of politicians, not individuals as individuals can do too little. To what extent do you agree or disagree?