Some people think that modern technology is making people more sociable, while others think it is making them less sociable. Discuss both views and give your opinio

Many individuals believe that modern
technology
gives
Verb problem
has
show examples
an impact
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
people
where they tend to be more sociable,
while
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
others think it leads them to be less sociable.
This
essay will outline the impacts of
technology
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
people
. Nowadays, building a relationship towards
people
is
getting
Verb problem
becoming
show examples
easily accessible since there is
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology
.
People
can keep their friends from an app on their smartphones without needing to meet. Apps
such
as Line, Instagram and
Whatsapp
Correct your spelling
WhatsApp
show examples
help society
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
maintain relationships from everywhere.
For example
, during the Covid-19 pandemic, most of the schools in my city decided to close
temporary
Change the word
temporarily
show examples
. I could not meet my friends and even the learning at school began to stop. But modern apps like Line assist my communication
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
my friends without meeting directly. The updates
lives
Change preposition
in lives
show examples
could
Wrong verb form
can
show examples
be seen from
this
technology
.
As a result
, our
relationships
Fix the agreement mistake
relationship
show examples
keep maintaining
Wrong verb form
has been maintained
show examples
for many years.
On the other hand
,
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
brings
Verb problem
makes
show examples
someone
to be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
lazier to socialize since they tend to stay at home rather than
socializing
Wrong verb form
socialise
show examples
with
people
. Modern games seem a fun activity
where
Correct word choice
that
show examples
making
Wrong verb form
makes
show examples
people
feel comfortable.
For instance
, research shows that in
these
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
recent years, the amount of individuals
go
Correct pronoun usage
who go
show examples
out to
socializing
Wrong verb form
socialise
show examples
is
Wrong verb form
has been
show examples
declining. More
people
will choose to play games. If
this
always
happends
Correct your spelling
happens
, their social skills might get down which
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
to
be
Change the verb form
being
show examples
less sociable.
Consequently
, they would be afraid or anxious to face communities directly. In conclusion, modern
technology
is clearly giving impacts on
people
to be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
more friendly or less friendly. In my opinion, I believe that technological advancement
tend
Change the verb form
tends
show examples
to bring a positive impact
such
as making the majority of
people
to be more sociable.
Submitted by ieltswriting91 on

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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
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task achievement
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task achievement
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