Some experts believe that when a country is already rich, any additional increase economic wealth does not make ota citizens more happier.Do you agree or disagree?

#experts #country #wealth #ota #citizens

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Countries

such

Linking Words

as Dubai,

United

Correct article usage

the United

show examples

States, and Australia, are wealthy and well-developed. There are experts saying that additional economic

growth

Use synonyms

would not increase the happiness level of the

citizens

Use synonyms

from

Change preposition

show examples

those countries.

However

Linking Words

, there are always some people who are living

under

Change preposition

show examples

poverty and

needs

Correct subject-verb agreement

need

show examples

financial help, so I strongly disagree

Change preposition

with

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their opinions. Every country has people who live below the poverty line and need financial help from their government for basic living support. The wealthier the country is,

Correct the article

the more

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econimics

Correct your spelling

economics

economic

support the government can provide to their

citizens

Use synonyms

For example

Linking Words

Australian

Add an article

the Australian

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government provides Centrelink to those who struggle with basic living

cost

Fix the agreement mistake

costs

show examples

, which can reduce their financial stress

Correct word choice

and, therefore

show examples

therefore

Linking Words

Use synonyms

increases

Correct subject-verb agreement

increase

show examples

their quality of life and happiness.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, economic wealth

corelates

Correct your spelling

correlates

to the spending power of the

citizens

Use synonyms

. The

growth

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of wealth

increases

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the purchasing power of the

citizens

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. They can buy materials that they could not buy before, which can achieve emotional

fullfillness

Correct your spelling

fulfilment

thus

Linking Words

influence

Wrong verb form

influencing

show examples

their

overall

Linking Words

happiness.

To conclude

Linking Words

economic

Correct article usage

the economic

show examples

growth

Use synonyms

of a country

increases

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the financial support provided to those poor

citizens

Use synonyms

as well as

Linking Words

increases

Use synonyms

their

abiility

Correct your spelling

ability

of spending

Change preposition

to spend

show examples

Therefore

Linking Words

, I personally believe that additional

growth

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of economic wealth can have a positive influence

Change preposition

show examples

the level of

happiniess

Correct your spelling

happiness

of the

citizens

Use synonyms

Submitted by niki1028 on Fri Dec 29 2023

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coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear position throughout with an introduction and a conclusion, which is good. However, the logical structuring of ideas could be enhanced. Some paragraphs appear underdeveloped and would benefit from more detailed examples and explanations to strengthen the argument.

task achievement

You addressed the task, presenting your opinion and explaining it. Yet, for a higher band score, it would be beneficial to develop your main points more fully and provide more specific, elaborated examples to substantiate your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

210 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

diminishing returns
materialism
emotional fulfillment
wealth disparity
social cohesion
cultural norms
environmental degradation
sustainable development
subjective well-being
community bonds
work-life balance
basic needs
relative wealth
economic indicators
hedonic treadmill

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Some experts believe that when a country is already rich, any additional increase economic wealth does not make ota citizens more happier.Do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think that a person improves their intellectual skills more when doing group activities. To what extent do you agree? Use specific details and examples to explain your view.

A government has a responsibility to its citizens to ensure their safety. Therefore, some people think that the government should increase spending on defence but spend less on social benefits. To what extent do you agree? Essay Outline

scientist believe that computeras will become more intelligent than human beings. some people find it is positive trend while others think it is a negetive development. discuss both points and give your own opinion.