Some people think that sports involving violence, such as boxing and martial arts, should be banned from TV as well as from international sporting competitions. To what extent do you agree?Find essays with the same topic

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Some people are
worries
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worried
show examples
an
extrem
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extreme
international
sport
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sports
show examples
,
such
as boxing and material arts can
be distruction
Verb problem
destroy
show examples
children
when they watch
on
Correct pronoun usage
them on
show examples
TV
.
Event
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Even
show examples
though musculin
sport
is good exercise for
make
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making
show examples
bodies appearance good, I
wholeheardly
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wholeheartedly
agree with that statement,
children
can copy their
action
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actions
show examples
and it
not
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is not
show examples
good for
children
's development. Some
of
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apply
show examples
people
Add an article
the people
show examples
are
interest
Replace the word
interested
show examples
watch
Wrong verb form
in watching
show examples
danger
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dangerous
show examples
sports, because they think it
like
Add a missing verb
is like
show examples
an
intertaiment
Correct your spelling
entertainment
for
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to
show examples
brush
Wrong verb form
brushing
show examples
their
mind
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minds
show examples
after getting tired from working or maybe
bore
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bored
show examples
.
while
it
like
Add a missing verb
is like
show examples
Correct article usage
a favories
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favories
Correct your spelling
favourite
sport
, so they could spend more time on
TV
to support their teams or
favorite
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favourite
show examples
fighter.
For Instance
, MMA International
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
that is
Add an article
a
show examples
famous
sport
in the world.
Therefore
other
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others
show examples
love
Fix the infinitive
to spend
show examples
spend
Change the verb form
spends
show examples
more and more time on
TV
to get
intertaiments
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entertainment
.
However
,
children
who are
waching
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watching
violence
Replace the word
violent
show examples
sport
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sports
show examples
lead to
copy
Wrong verb form
copying
show examples
hursh
Correct your spelling
their
actions. Parents must be aware and take responsibility
to monitor
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for monitoring
show examples
their
children
when
their
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
stay on
TV
,because they
does
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do
show examples
no which
program
Fix the agreement mistake
programs
show examples
are
ivable
Correct your spelling
able
to watch.
For example
, Watch cartoon movies or Tedtalk
especial
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especially
show examples
for
chilld
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child
. It
more
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is more
show examples
usefull
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useful
and develop their
knowledges
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knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
show examples
and has
postives entertaiment
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positive entertainment
.
In addition
, watching
that
Correct determiner usage
those
show examples
shows might
brind
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have
negative
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a negative
show examples
impact
for
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on
show examples
those
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
invornment
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environment
. They will
fear
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fear to
show examples
scare and have
trouma
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trouble
watch
Wrong verb form
watching
show examples
it. They will
scare
Wrong verb form
be scared
show examples
to socialisation with others.
For example
,
children
can bully their friends in school by
copy
Change the verb form
copying
show examples
their
action
Fix the agreement mistake
actions
show examples
when they watch.
However
, as
parents
Add a comma
parents,
show examples
we must
selective
Add a missing verb
be selective
show examples
to choose
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in choosing
show examples
chanel
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channel
programs for
childre
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children
. In
conclution
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conclusion
. Some people
are argued
Wrong verb form
argue
show examples
that hurds sports
program
Fix the agreement mistake
programs
show examples
,
such
us
Correct your spelling
as
show examples
boxing and
matial
Correct your spelling
martial
material
art
Fix the agreement mistake
arts
show examples
on
TV
must be canceled. It can brig
negative
Correct article usage
a negative
show examples
impact
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
Add an article
the
show examples
young generation and I stand with
this
, If they
watching
Wrong verb form
watch
show examples
it and
subconcious
Correct your spelling
subconsciously
will
bullying
Wrong verb form
bully
show examples
their friends. As wise
parents
Add a comma
parents,
show examples
we must
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
choose
program
Fix the agreement mistake
programs
show examples
for
educated
Wrong verb form
educating
show examples
our
children
.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear logical structure, with ideas presented somewhat haphazardly. It's critical to clearly organize your essay into an introduction, body paragraphs each with a single main idea, and a conclusion.
coherence cohesion
While an introduction and conclusion are present, they need to be more clearly defined. Ensure that your introduction sets out the topic and your viewpoint, and the conclusion summarizes the essay and restates your opinion.
coherence cohesion
Main points are present but are not always well-supported. Each paragraph should start with a clear topic sentence, followed by explanations, examples, or arguments to support it.
task achievement
You need to make sure your response fully addresses all parts of the task. Be sure to give a balanced view before presenting your own opinion.
task achievement
Ideas are present but not developed clearly or comprehensively. Make sure to expand on your ideas with detailed explanations and relevant examples.
task achievement
Your examples are relevant but they need to be developed further. Remember to explain how they support your argument and link them back to your main points.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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