IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In many countries import food from other contry of the world.what are the advantages and disadvantages of this kasur.

#countries #import #food #contry #world #kasur
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Each
country
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 has its own strategy regarding
import
Correct article usage
the import
show examples
 and export of
commodiites
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commodities
.
Although
Linking Words
 some elites believe
food
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 supply is vital for the
country
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 so it should not be imported, others believe it could be beneficial for the society. I think the advantages of it
outweight
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outweigh
outweighs
 its disadvantages. On one hand, conservative people consider
food
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 as a strategic resource.
For example
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, a shortage of
food
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 can lead to
a
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apply
show examples
chaos in the
country
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. Or if the imported products were contaminated
then
Linking Words
 the public will be prone to illness.
As a result
Linking Words
, the community should rely on its own agriculture even if it needs a huge investment.
Moreover
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, importing
food
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 may affect the culture. To illustrate, each
country
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 has its own local
food
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 used in ceremonies, and it might be unlikely to find it in other nations.
Therefore
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, in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
long-term
Correct your spelling
long term
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, importing
food
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 will bring about a switch in the
food
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 culture. As a
consquence
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consequence
, traditional customs will be forgotten.
On the other hand
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, the global change is a vital issue to consider.
Due to
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the
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apply
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global warming, many countries are suffering from a
water
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 shortage;
therefore
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, they are highly unlikely to manage to grow
food
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 which
take
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takes
show examples
 a lot of
water
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.
For example
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,
cultivation
Correct article usage
the cultivation
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 of wheat and watermelon
require
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requires
show examples
 a huge
amout
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amount
 of
water
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.
Thus
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, not only it would cost a lot for them to provide the
requried
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required
water
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, but
also
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 if they manage to provide it
then
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 no
water
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 will remain to drink for the next generation.
Furthermore
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, in many cases, importing
food
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 costs lower than its cultivation so the national investment can
be spend
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be spent
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 on commodities that have a better return
of
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on
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 investment.
For instance
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, some countries export crude oil and import wheat
,
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apply
show examples
 and make
a
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apply
show examples
huge revenue. In conclusion, despite the fact that importing
food
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 may be
threat
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a threat
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 to national security, in many cases, the national benefits
makes
Change the verb form
make
show examples
 the authorities
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
import
food
Use synonyms
.
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coherence cohesion
Ensure logical sequencing of ideas and clear paragraphing. Your essay shows some organization but could be improved by having clearer topic sentences and transitions between paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but they can be strengthened. Your introduction should more effectively paraphrase the prompt and provide a clearer thesis statement. The conclusion should effectively summarize the main points without introducing new ideas.
coherence cohesion
Support main points with clear and relevant examples. Your essay includes some examples, but they need to be further elaborated upon and made more specific to effectively support your arguments.
task achievement
Make sure you address all parts of the task. Your essay should present a more balanced discussion of both advantages and disadvantages. Include a clearer overall opinion to ensure all aspects of the prompt are covered.
task achievement
Develop clearer and more comprehensive ideas. The arguments presented could benefit from deeper analysis and stronger supporting details that would enhance the clarity of your ideas.
task achievement
Use relevant and specific examples to illustrate your points. The examples provided in the essay are rather general. Try to include concrete facts or scenarios that clearly relate to and support your argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Globalization
  • Agricultural diversity
  • Seasonal produce
  • Economic trade
  • Carbon emissions
  • Supply chain
  • Food miles
  • Regulatory standards
  • Food sovereignty
  • Local economy
What to do next:
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