A big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree? Provide relevant examples if necessary.

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These days,

while

some people consider the job atmosphere essential, most people are satisfied by huge wages, no matter what it is. I'm afraid I have to disagree with

this

statement. People know the importance of self-improvement and how the passionate is essential. Why do they ignore the soul of work?

To begin

with, the first important reason is that any working organization that values you and helps you to be better in your field, helps you to set a new target with a better vision and updated version of yourself.

For instance

, Mazin AL-Salmani the CEO of Muscat Electricity Distribution Company started as an assistant lineman.

In other words

, working in an environment that helps you to grow and opens the future doors for you helps you to gain many and reputation. Behind that, a great working atmosphere with high-quality achievement makes you feel happy and pleasant. Working on a project that makes a remarkable difference in any part of the society's services or even plays an essential change in the country's income is sensational.

Such

as, the Muscat Power plant which feeds 28% of Oman needs energy. To illustrate that money is speak of the devil,

while

the remarkable achievement remains. Quit apart the good mental and physical health that can reflect on your brain and body because you do what you like.

To conclude

, job satisfaction can play a main part in your life and it can be the reason for getting either wealth or a remarkable touch that remains even if you die.

Submitted by Loody on Tue Jan 02 2024

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Logical Structure

Your essay provided a response but lacks a clear and coherent structure. Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea and is supported by detailed explanation, examples or evidence.

Introduction and Conclusion present

The introduction and conclusion are present, but they could be strengthened. Make your thesis statement clearer in the introduction and summarise your main points more effectively in the conclusion.

Supported Main Points

While you provided some main points, they are not adequately supported and expanded. Use specific examples that clearly illustrate your arguments. Avoid vague statements and ensure that each main point is fully developed.

Complete Response

You have addressed the task, but the response is incomplete as it doesn't fully develop all parts of the argument. Expand on your ideas, explore different perspectives and ensure your position is consistent throughout the essay.

Clear and Comprehensive Ideas

The ideas in the essay are somewhat clear, but they could be more comprehensive. Aim to elaborate on the points made and explore the implications or complications of your argument.

Relevant Specific Examples

You mentioned relevant examples, but they lack specificity. Strengthen your essay by including detailed and specific examples to support each point. Make sure that the examples are directly related to the argument and contribute to the reader's understanding of your stance.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

257 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

remuneration
financial security
motivation
luxuries
material possessions
fulfillment
work-life balance
stress levels
mental well-being
job security

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