People have different opinions about the impact of advertising on our lives. Some believe it's beneficial, while others think it's harmful. Discuss both views and provide your perspective.

It is certainly true that, in today’s world, we are seeing
quite
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quite a
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lot of
advertisements
for every small thing across the globe. It is often argued that
,
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apply
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impact
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the impact
show examples
of the promotion
to
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of
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any
product
might both
supported
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be supported
show examples
and refuted by many. Both
the
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apply
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sides of
this
argument will be analysed before the reasoned conclusion is drawn.
Firstly
, few individuals including myself, believe that
,
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apply
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we have several benefits with the
advertisements
. The major advantage is we can choose
best
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the best
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product
based on several factors
such
as cost, quality, manufacturing details
and
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apply
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etc.
For instance
, one of my friends was looking to buy a car and he
has
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
been investigating for three months to find
better
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a better
the better
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option within his budget
and
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apply
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after three months
struggle
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of struggle
show examples
, he found
one
Correct determiner usage
the
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best deal through an advertisement. From
this
it is quite evident that we have good benefits with the promotion an any
product
.
However
,
on the other hand
, opponents hold the opinion that
,
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apply
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advertisements
are costly.
In addition
to
this
, they feel that
,
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apply
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watching promotions costs them quality time.
As a result
, customers from
this
category will not spend time
on
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apply
show examples
watching ads and few entrepreneurs from the same category will not show interest
to advertise
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in advertising
show examples
their products.
For example
, my uncle is a
business man
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businessman
show examples
as he owns a mobile store and
don’t
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doesn’t
show examples
like to advertise his products. With
this
, it is easy to see why they feel
advertisements
are harmful and it could
also
be plausible.
To conclude
, there may be
few
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a few
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demerits with the promotions,
however
, we have
quite
Change the article
quite a
show examples
number of benefits
such
as identifying the right
product
as well as
good revenue for
business
Add an article
the business
show examples
as promotions will spread the news about the
product
’s quality.
Therefore
, I wholeheartedly, opine that, we have several advantages with the
advertisements
over disadvantages.
Submitted by dillirao.nakka.canada on

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coherence cohesion
Consider developing your introduction with a more nuanced opening statement, leading into a clearer overview of the essay. Precision in paraphrasing the question can improve textual cohesion.
coherence cohesion
Transition between ideas could be smoother. For better cohesion, use a wider range of linking words and phrases that will help in connecting sentences and paragraphs more naturally.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph should ideally focus on one central idea, which should be clearly stated in a topic sentence. Ensure that subsequent sentences elaborate on that idea with explanations and examples.
task achievement
Ensure you fully address all parts of the task. The essay should extend discussion on both the benefits and drawbacks of advertising, with a balanced comparison that leads to a clear personal standpoint.
task achievement
Strive for clarity in expressing your ideas. Avoid complex sentences that may lead to garmmatical errors or diminish the readability of the text. Simplify sentence structure while maintaining a formal tone.
task achievement
Use examples that are directly relevant to the task and develop them further to support your points. Make sure these examples are detailed and specific to make your argument more persuasive.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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