Bullying is a big problem in many schools. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Bullying in
schools
is a major issue.
This
is
due to
increased protection and attention from
parents
or teachers to their
children
. To solve
this
problem
,
parents
must arrange parenting patterns, and
schools
must educate and socialize about bullying. Bullying in
school
is a significant concern for the government and the public. Every year, new cases always appear.
This
is the impact of a lack of attention from
parents
and educational institutions.
Parents
and
schools
always let
children
play without supervision and think they are just
children
who will play naturally without hurting each other. Even though many of them do not know how to get along well, which causes them to often hurt each other
,.
Change the punctuation
,
.
show examples
To solve
this
problem
,
parents
must manage their parenting patterns in their household.
Children
's
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
at
school
is a reflection of their parenting patterns at home. Occasionally,
parents
must teach and guide their daughters or sons on how to socialize, communicate, and
love
each other so that they can interact in
school
.
For instance
, Christian
parents
always speak about how their religion teaches God to
love
us, so we have to
love
each other. Because of that, as Christians, we have to have polite manners when we get
along with
others.
Furthermore
,
schools
must socialize and educate their students about the effects of bullying. They have to communicate and pay
big
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
attention to
this
case by showing and instilling in their
children
how loving their friend is and how they get along in a good and polite manner.
For example
, the Indonesian education department sets up a large program every semester for each
school
to overcome the impact of bullying in
schools
. To recapitulate, bullying in
school
is a significant
problem
in
this
case, as the impact of a lack of care and concern from
parents
and education is significant, so the best way to handle
this
problem
is for
parents
and
schools
to educate their
children
on how to
love
each other.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your introduction effectively sets up the topic of the essay and outlines the key points you plan to address. Your introduction should clearly state the causes and solutions you will discuss.
coherence cohesion
Organize your essay into clear paragraphs with an introduction, body, and conclusion. Aim to have a logical flow of ideas where one idea leads to the next in a coherent manner.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with specific examples or evidence. While some examples are provided, aim to use a wider range of detailed and relevant examples.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task. The question asks for the causes of bullying as well as solutions. Ensure that both areas are fully explored and backed up with clear reasoning and examples.
task achievement
Present ideas clearly and expand upon them so that they are comprehensive. Avoid vague statements and ensure that your essay communicates your points effectively.
task achievement
Include a broader range of examples from various sources, not just from personal or local viewpoints. This will help in developing a more persuasive argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Bullying
  • Harassment
  • Intimidation
  • Diversity
  • Adolescent
  • Mimic
  • Aggressive behavior
  • Cyberbullying
  • Peer pressure
  • Social acceptance
  • Awareness
  • Conflict resolution
  • Peer mediation
  • Consequences
  • Respect
  • Kindness
  • Open communication
  • Vulnerable
  • Buddy system
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