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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The map below is of the town of Garlsdon. A new supermarket (S) is planned for the town. The map shows two possible sites for the supermarket.

The map below is of the town of Garlsdon. A new supermarket (S) is planned for the town. The map shows two possible sites for the supermarket.
#town #garlsdon #supermarket #two #sites
This
 map depicts the layout of two possible
location
Change to a plural noun
locations
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 of
supermarket
Fix the agreement mistake
supermarkets
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 in Garlsdon City.
Overall
, it is clearly apparent that the location of s1 and s2 is opposite of each other, S1 is located in the suburban area,
meanwhile
Add a comma
meanwhile,
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 s2 is in the heart of the town. Turning our attention to s1 that
take
Correct subject-verb agreement
takes
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 place
in
Change preposition
on
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 the
north west
Correct your spelling
northwest
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 side of the maps, it
have
Change the verb form
has
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 its own advantage
eventhough
Correct your spelling
even though
its
Correct your spelling
it's
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 quite far from
metropolitan
Add an article
the metropolitan
a metropolitan
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 area. On the left, it is close to
railway
Correct article usage
the railway
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 and on the
right
Add a comma
right,
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 it is next to Hindon that have around 10.000 citizens. Moving to S2, it is the best location since it is located in the middle of the town
center
Change the spelling
centre
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 and in there, there is no traffic zone and have
close
Add an article
a close
the close
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 distance to
railway
Correct article usage
the railway
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 it
also
Add a missing verb
is also
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 quite close the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
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neighboring
Change the spelling
neighbouring
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 cities, it takes 16
kilometers
Change the spelling
kilometres
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 from Brandson and 25
kilometers
Change the spelling
kilometres
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 from
Crandson
Correct your spelling
Grandson
.
This
Correct determiner usage
These
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 two cities all have
general
Add an article
a general
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 population above 10.000.
In addition
to
Change preposition
apply
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s2
take
Correct subject-verb agreement
takes
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 place near the housing in the south side of the city.
Submitted by nientjeninan on

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "map" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Accessibility
  • Congestion
  • Economic benefits
  • Environmental impact
  • Foot traffic
  • Green space
  • Job creation
  • Local property values
  • Parking availability
  • Pollution
  • Proximity
  • Public transportation
  • Sustainability
  • Traffic patterns
  • Residential areas
  • Shopping convenience
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