IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Immigration has a major impact on the society. What are the main reasons of immifartion? To what consequenes can it lead?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In
this
Linking Words
 new modern era of
humanity
Add a comma
humanity,
show examples
 a new problem has
risen
Correct your spelling
arisen
show examples
 which is
question
Add an article
a question
the question
show examples
 of
immigration
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 new question
made
Verb problem
has
show examples
 too many big and small effects
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 countries and
peoples
Change noun form
people's
show examples
 lives. In the next paragraph, I will discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
the main reasons
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
why
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 leave their places, to start
new
Add an article
a new
show examples
life
Use synonyms
some where
Join the words
somewhere
show examples
 else
then
Linking Words
 after that, I will write about
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
decisions
Change noun form
decision's
decisions'
show examples
 results
finally
Linking Words
at the end
Linking Words
 I am going to give my final conclusion.
First
Add an article
The first
show examples
 reason for
immigration
Use synonyms
 is
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
low
Correct article usage
the low
show examples
 standard of living in
home
Add an article
the home
show examples
 country.some times it is not really that important how much a person tries to have
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
life
Use synonyms
 in his own nation, there are always some unwritten rules which, are making him
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
live as bad as his past
life
Use synonyms
 so he has to face
whith
Correct your spelling
with
 the fact that he can not have
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
life
Use synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 unless he
find
Change the verb form
finds
show examples
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
place
Use synonyms
 to live in.Another reason for
this
Linking Words
action
Use synonyms
 is, running away from the past to start
new
Add an article
a new
show examples
life
Use synonyms
 in the future.
for example
Linking Words
, many
people
Use synonyms
 are running away from the
Middle-east
Correct your spelling
Middle
show examples
 because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
place
Use synonyms
 made them
to be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
heartless
people
Use synonyms
 so they make
this
Linking Words
choise
Correct your spelling
choice
 to start
new
Add an article
a new
show examples
life
Use synonyms
 as new person. As can be
seen
Add a comma
seen,
show examples
immigration
Use synonyms
 can really
cause
Use synonyms
 huge change in
peoples
Change noun form
people's
show examples
 lives.
Most
Add an article
A most
The most
show examples
 important result of
this
Linking Words
action
Use synonyms
 is cultural
mis-understanding
Correct your spelling
misunderstanding
such
Linking Words
 as problems in marketing and business. because each
place
Use synonyms
 has its own traditional culture for doing jobs and business,
immigration
Use synonyms
 can make
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 two different
culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
show examples
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
face
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
each other, well
this
Linking Words
 situation can
some times
Correct your spelling
sometimes
show examples
 make
people
Use synonyms
dont
Correct your spelling
not
 understand each other and even
cause
Use synonyms
 a fight. Another important
cause
Use synonyms
 of
immigration
Use synonyms
 is having more than enough
population
Use synonyms
 in
target
Add an article
the target
show examples
 country.
For example
Linking Words
, in the USA native
people
Use synonyms
 are already more than
Correct article usage
the governments
show examples
governments
Fix the agreement mistake
government
show examples
 handling size so if
this
Linking Words
 country gets some
refuges
Correct your spelling
refugees
show examples
 it will
cause
Use synonyms
 too many
problem
Change to a plural noun
problems
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as traffic and lack of homes. So
some times
Correct your spelling
sometimes
show examples
Countrys
Correct your spelling
country
 leaders should stop
immigration
Use synonyms
 to make sure
native
Correct article usage
the native
show examples
population
Use synonyms
 can handle
it self
Correct your spelling
itself
show examples
 because of their too much
population
Use synonyms
. In conclusion,
immigration
Use synonyms
 happens because of Low standards of
life
Use synonyms
 or starting new fresh
life
Use synonyms
 in
new
Add an article
a new
the new
show examples
place
Use synonyms
.
this
Linking Words
action
Use synonyms
 can
cause
Use synonyms
 both cultural
mis-understanding
Correct your spelling
misunderstanding
 and too much unnecessary
population
Use synonyms
. I wanted to add a fact size of
immigration
Use synonyms
 and its result is always important and can change data and results.
Linking Words
Finally
Add a comma
Finally,
show examples
 the native citizens are
only
Correct article usage
the only
show examples
people
Use synonyms
how
Correct word choice
who
show examples
 can
make
Verb problem
apply
show examples
accept or reject
this
Linking Words
action
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure each paragraph presents a clear main idea and stays focused on that idea throughout. Avoid introducing new topics without proper explanation.
Coherence & Cohesion
For a more coherent essay structure, use an introductory sentence in each paragraph to guide the reader on the topic to be discussed.
Coherence & Cohesion
Make sure to use linking words and phrases to connect ideas between sentences and paragraphs for a better flow.
Task Achievement
Fully address all parts of the task, ensuring that your answer is relevant and provides an appropriate depth of detail.
Task Achievement
Support your main points with clear, relevant examples to strengthen your arguments and fully respond to the prompt.
Task Achievement
Pay attention to the accuracy of the language and vocabulary used to convey your point more effectively.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: