IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that eventually all jobs will be done by artificially intelligent robots What is your opinion?

#people #jobs #robots
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Artificially intelligent
robots
Use synonyms
 continue to dominate our environment to the point that they might replace
humans
Use synonyms
 entirely. Even though it may be feasible to use artificial
intelligence
Use synonyms
 in most job fields, there are some professions that can be done only by
humans
Use synonyms
 because they require an understanding of people's emotions and psychology.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss the reason why there are exceptional
jobs
Use synonyms
 that must be worked out by
humans
Use synonyms
. Job desks that use human labour are most likely to be taken over by smart technologies. By using artificial
intelligence
Use synonyms
, industries would benefit by spending less budget and time.
For example
Linking Words
, there have been some heated discussions on social media that
illustrator
Capitalize word
Illustrator
show examples
 is no longer needed since people can generate their own art by using prompts only.
Consequently
Linking Words
, artificial
intelligence
Use synonyms
 might be seen as an effective choice to replace human
jobs
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, robotics replacements are not suitable for professions that need human understanding,
such
Linking Words
 as psychologists or marriage consultants. The essentials of these professions will never be achieved by
robots
Use synonyms
 unless there is
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
great development where they can mimic
humans
Use synonyms
 completely.
For instance
Linking Words
,
humans
Use synonyms
 know how to feel and handle feelings, whether it is love, sadness, or anger.
Overall
Linking Words
, there
exist
Change the verb form
exists
show examples
 a big difference between
humans
Use synonyms
 and
robots
Use synonyms
 that makes it impossible for all work to be replaced. In the near future, there is a high possibility that
robots
Use synonyms
 will take over most human
jobs
Use synonyms
. Simple work will eventually be done by
robots
Use synonyms
 but there are still certain
jobs
Use synonyms
 that are in need of human assistance.
Therefore
Linking Words
, not all careers can be carried out by artificial
intelligence
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by ieltswriting91 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
The essay demonstrates a limited usage of logical structuring and seems to lack clear and well-developed ideas, causing difficulty in following the progression of the essay. Consider creating a more defined outline before writing to help present ideas in a logical sequence.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are present but they could be improved. Ensure that the introduction clearly presents the topic and outlines the main points to be discussed, while the conclusion should effectively summarize the essay's argument without introducing new information.
coherence cohesion
The main points are mentioned, yet they require better support and development. Elaborate more on each point with detailed explanations, adequate evidence, and examples to make the argument more convincing and insightful.
task achievement
The response only partially fulfills the requirements of the task. While the essay addresses the prompt, it does not fully develop a clear position throughout the response. To enhance task achievement, ensure the opinion is clearly stated and consistently maintained throughout the essay.
task achievement
Ideas are somewhat clear but lack comprehensiveness. Clarify and expand upon your ideas, ensuring that each paragraph has a clear central topic that is explored in depth to provide a more comprehensive analysis.
task achievement
The essay uses a general example, yet more specific and relevant examples are needed to support the main points fully. Incorporate concrete and relevant examples or data to strengthen the arguments and to align closely with the topic being discussed.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • artificial intelligence (AI)
  • automation
  • robotics
  • futuristic developments
  • analyze data
  • analytical precision
  • human capabilities
  • emotional intelligence
  • human interaction
  • human oversight
  • strategic decision-making
  • nuances of human judgment
  • technological landscape
  • intrinsic human qualities
What to do next:
Look at other essays: