Online shopping is now replacing shopping in stores. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
In
this
new modern era of humanity, buying items on the internet
is taking the place of traditional market shopping. Capitalize word
Internet
This
is both huge
and wonderful change for most people. In Correct article usage
a huge
next
paragraph, I will discuss how good Correct article usage
the next
this
way
is and after that
I will write about A bad point of online shopping.
Online shopping will help people to save their Add a comma
that,
time
. They can spend less time
in stores and do other things activities like taking care of their children. For example
, in the past
a person had to be in big malls and see all the shoes and Add a comma
past,
then
pick one of them which was better, so this
process could take a full day from him waste a lot of time
because he have
had to be in every Unnecessary verb
apply
stores
and chose them in person. In recent times, Change to a singular noun
store
However
, if you want to buy those shoes you can do all that process cycle in less than one hour. This
method
can really help society to spend less time
for
unimportant activities Change preposition
on
such
as shopping.
This
method
has its own negative points such
as online crimes like hacking bank account
. Buying items Fix the agreement mistake
accounts
in
on the internet can put your bank account in Change preposition
apply
a
serious danger. Remove the article
apply
For example
, one time
I bought a Garden visiting
ticket Replace the word
visit
then
I realized that ticket was fake and My money had been stolen. As can be seen
Add a comma
seen,
This
way
of buying can sometimes be really dangerous.
In conclusion, online shopping is changing our world. This
method
has its own benefits and drawbacks. In my way
of thinking In my opinion, online shopping is better than in person
Add a hyphen
in-person
way
because of saving people’s time
. Although
, it is really a dangerous Correct word choice
However
method
and may put your cash in Criminals’ pocket
Fix the agreement mistake
pockets
at
the end.Change preposition
in
Submitted by mohamad.tavalari2008 on
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Introduction and Conclusion
Ensure that your introduction and conclusion are clearly defined. The introduction should introduce the topic and your overall position, while the conclusion should summarize your main points and reiterate your stance. Make sure they are distinct and effectively frame your discussion.
Logical Structure
It is important to maintain a logical structure throughout your essay. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea. Use transitional phrases to connect ideas within paragraphs and to link paragraphs to each other to enhance the flow of your essay.
Supporting Main Points
Support your main points with specific examples. While you have provided some examples, additional ones could be utilized to strengthen your argument and make it more persuasive. Use varied sentence structures and ensure examples are directly relevant to the main points being discussed.
Task Achievement
For task response, ensure that you address all parts of the task. This includes discussing both the positive and negative aspects of the topic as required by the question, but also developing these points fully. Your response should be balanced and well-considered, providing a clear position throughout the essay.
Clear Comprehensive Ideas
Your ideas and examples should be clear and comprehensive, making sure they relate directly to the topic. Providing depth to your argument is important to demonstrate an understanding of the topic. Aim to elaborate on your points more thoroughly to convey clear and comprehensive ideas.
Relevant Specific Examples
The use of relevant examples is critical to support your arguments. You included personal examples which is good, but consider including a broader range of instances or evidence that can underscore your points more effectively.