Online shopping is now replacing shopping in stores. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#stores #development

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this

Linking Words

new modern era of humanity, buying items on the

internet

Capitalize word

Internet

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is taking the place of traditional market shopping.

This

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is both

huge

Correct article usage

a huge

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and wonderful change for most people. In

Correct article usage

the next

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paragraph, I will discuss how good

this

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way

Use synonyms

is and after

that

Add a comma

that,

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I will write about A bad point of online shopping. Online shopping will help people to save their

time

Use synonyms

. They can spend less

time

Use synonyms

in stores and do other things activities like taking care of their children.

For example

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, in the

past

Add a comma

past,

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a person had to be in big malls and see all the shoes and

then

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pick one of them which was better, so

this

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process could take a full day from him waste a lot of

time

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because he

have

Unnecessary verb

apply

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had to be in every

stores

Change to a singular noun

store

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and chose them in person. In recent times,

However

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, if you want to buy those shoes you can do all that process cycle in less than one hour.

This

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method

Use synonyms

can really help society to spend less

time

Use synonyms

for

Change preposition

show examples

unimportant activities

such

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as shopping.

This

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method

Use synonyms

has its own negative points

such

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as online crimes like hacking bank

account

Fix the agreement mistake

accounts

show examples

. Buying items

Change preposition

apply

show examples

on the internet can put your bank account in

Remove the article

apply

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serious danger.

For example

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, one

time

Use synonyms

I bought a Garden

visiting

Replace the word

visit

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ticket

then

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I realized that ticket was fake and My money had been stolen. As can be

seen

Add a comma

seen,

show examples

This

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way

Use synonyms

of buying can sometimes be really dangerous. In conclusion, online shopping is changing our world.

This

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method

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has its own benefits and drawbacks. In my

way

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of thinking In my opinion, online shopping is better than

in person

Add a hyphen

in-person

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way

Use synonyms

because of saving people’s

time

Use synonyms

Linking Words

Although

Correct word choice

However

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, it is really a dangerous

method

Use synonyms

and may put your cash in Criminals’

pocket

Fix the agreement mistake

pockets

show examples

Linking Words

Change preposition

show examples

the end.

Submitted by mohamad.tavalari2008 on Sat Dec 30 2023

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Introduction and Conclusion

Ensure that your introduction and conclusion are clearly defined. The introduction should introduce the topic and your overall position, while the conclusion should summarize your main points and reiterate your stance. Make sure they are distinct and effectively frame your discussion.

Logical Structure

It is important to maintain a logical structure throughout your essay. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea. Use transitional phrases to connect ideas within paragraphs and to link paragraphs to each other to enhance the flow of your essay.

Supporting Main Points

Support your main points with specific examples. While you have provided some examples, additional ones could be utilized to strengthen your argument and make it more persuasive. Use varied sentence structures and ensure examples are directly relevant to the main points being discussed.

Task Achievement

For task response, ensure that you address all parts of the task. This includes discussing both the positive and negative aspects of the topic as required by the question, but also developing these points fully. Your response should be balanced and well-considered, providing a clear position throughout the essay.

Clear Comprehensive Ideas

Your ideas and examples should be clear and comprehensive, making sure they relate directly to the topic. Providing depth to your argument is important to demonstrate an understanding of the topic. Aim to elaborate on your points more thoroughly to convey clear and comprehensive ideas.

Relevant Specific Examples

The use of relevant examples is critical to support your arguments. You included personal examples which is good, but consider including a broader range of instances or evidence that can underscore your points more effectively.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

297 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

online shopping
shopping in stores
convenience
accessibility
wide variety
comparative pricing
crowds
queues
price comparison
returning and exchanging items
local businesses
personal interaction
sensory experience

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Online shopping is now replacing shopping in stores. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Many people believe that international tourism is a bad thing for their countries. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to change this negative attitude towards international tourism?

Young people who commit serious crimes should be punished in the same way as adults. To want extent do you agree or disagree?

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important to a child’s development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory for in schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country. Others say that there are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language. Discuss both views and give your opinion.