some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
In today's world full of conflict, greed, and constant struggles to succeed
people
have different views about whether they should tolerate undesirable situations or they should take some actions to change the circumestances
. Correct your spelling
circumstances
While
I believe individuals ought to fight for improvements, some people
prefer not to try. Such
a mixed blessing requires further
examinations
into a wider context.
On the one hand, it is mistakenly alleged that standingFix the agreement mistake
examination
a
bad situation may lead to calmness and it can provide a relaxed atmosphere for human beings, but Change preposition
in a
it is clear that
,
being unwind is not everything a person wants. Remove the comma
apply
This
assumption claims that taking actions in order to boost salary and income would provoke negative attitudes, which is
not moral, Correct subject-verb agreement
are
such
as,
consumerism. Remove the comma
apply
Furthermore
, they think we should not forget about what blessings we already have and let greed and exceeding desires overcome us, which is too optimistic to become practical. This
is just half of the picture; this
matter needs to be seen on a broader canvas.
On the other hand
, some people
believe that without hard work people
cannot meet their
ends meet and I agree. Not Verb problem
make
to do
anything Change the verb form
doing
against
a bad situation would cause certain mental Change preposition
in
damages
in the future. Elderlies who have lots of regrets about their past Fix the agreement mistake
damage
is
a good case in point. A salient point to note here is that we live for a short time in Correct subject-verb agreement
are
this
universe, so, we must shape our life. This
can greatly contribute to a more pleasent
life, which is gained by hard work and Correct your spelling
pleasant
efforts
.
In conclusion, Fix the agreement mistake
effort
morally
and individually beneficial as standing Change preposition
as morally
bad
situations might be, great efforts to change the circumstances are indeed financially and mentally superior.Change preposition
in bad
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Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay lacks a clear progression of ideas. While your points are generally logical, the essay would benefit from better paragraphing and clearer, more explicit topic sentences that guide the reader through your arguments.
Coherence & Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are included, but both could be more clearly articulated. Instead of ambiguous statements, begin with a clearer position and end with a definitive stance, summarizing the arguments succinctly.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your main points do relate to the topic, but they could be supported better with specific examples or evidence. When discussing the disadvantages of accepting bad situations or the merits of attempting improvement, include more real-world illustrations or data.
Task Achievement
You have completed the task by discussing both views and providing your own opinion. However, work on providing a more balanced discussion of both sides while integrating your opinion throughout as opposed to only at the end.
Task Achievement
Your ideas are reasonably clear, but at times they lack development. Elaborate on your points with further explanation or analysis to ensure that your ideas are not only clear but also comprehensive. Use diverse language structures to achieve this.
Task Achievement
While you mention some general examples, they are not particularly specific or detailed. Strengthen your essay with relevant, specific examples that directly support your arguments. Use these examples to show a clear understanding of the subject matter.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.