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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The graph below shows the amount of waste produced by three companies over a period of 15 years

The graph below shows the amount of waste produced by three companies over a period of 15 years
#amount #waste #three #companies #period #years
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The data above illustrates the total
waste
Use synonyms
 of three companies from 2000 to 2015. In general, we can see trend differences among the three companies in 15
years
Use synonyms
.
Company
Use synonyms
 A
produce
Change the verb form
produces
show examples
 less
waste
Use synonyms
 as the
years
Use synonyms
goes
Correct subject-verb agreement
go
show examples
 by. Meanwhile, the graph of
Company
Use synonyms
 B shows a fluctuation, it goes up in the first five
years
Use synonyms
 and
then
Linking Words
 extremely down after 2005.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
Company
Use synonyms
 C is
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 largest
waste
Use synonyms
 production
company
Use synonyms
,
Correct word choice
and their
show examples
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 amount of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
waste
Use synonyms
is increase
Change the verb form
is increasing
show examples
 every year. The number of the
waste
Use synonyms
is vary
Change the verb form
is varied
is varying
show examples
 among the three factories. The first
company
Use synonyms
, A,
hits
Wrong verb form
hit
show examples
 it is
highest
Change the article
the highest
show examples
 level at 12
tonnes
Use synonyms
 in 2000 and
reach
Wrong verb form
reached
show examples
the
Change the word
its
show examples
 lowest point at under 9
tonnes
Use synonyms
 in 2015.
Besides
Linking Words
 that,
Company
Use synonyms
 B showing up and down
waste
Use synonyms
 production gets the peak in 2005 at around 10
tonnes
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 total is similar
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the total
waste
Use synonyms
 production by
Company
Use synonyms
 C in 2015 which is
also
Linking Words
 their peak point.
Although
Linking Words
 the graph of
Company
Use synonyms
 C
rise
Wrong verb form
has risen
show examples
 over the
years
Use synonyms
, they ever produce the lowest
waste
Use synonyms
 roughly at 4
tonnes
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by mmmuuu on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words waste, years, company, tonnes with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • waste production
  • company
  • trends
  • significant
  • fluctuations
  • surges
  • reductions
  • correlations
  • environmental policies
  • technological advancements
  • units of measurement
  • time period
  • stability
  • milestones
  • graph analysis
  • pattern recognition
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