In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?
Nowadays,
individuals
fitness is decreasing Change noun form
individuals'
individual's
due to
weight
increase. In this
essay, this
topic is discussed and the measures to solve this
issue is
provided.
These days, Correct subject-verb agreement
are
people
spend a lot
of time
in their workplace because of career structure. They do not have enough time
to pay attention to your food
diet and eating
a suitable meal. Wrong verb form
eat
Therefore
, they have to use fast food
with high calories and fat. This
factors influences
Change the verb form
influence
on
their Change preposition
apply
weight
and fitness a lot
.
On the other hand
, fast food
and similar foods have come
very popular among Verb problem
become
people
. They are tempting and ready very quickly, so it is a
appropriate choice for individuals who do not have enough Change the article
an
time
to cook food
. Therefore
, people
prefer these kinds of dishes unconsciously.
In my think, various measures can be effective to control
these unhealthy habits consequences. Since Change preposition
in controlling
people
spend a lot
of time
in their job
, they do not have enough mobility. So, they can choose exercises that can be beneficial in Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
this
condition. For instance
, they can walk or use bicycle
for transporting between their home and workplace.
Fix the agreement mistake
bicycles
To conclude
, in my opinion, people
's weight
and fitness depend on the culture of individuals and their country a lot
. That how
much they care about healthy nutrition and what kind of body is normal for them. Add a missing verb
is how
For example
, the weight
index is different in various countries. In korea
very low Change the capitalization
Korea
weight
is a sign of body health but in other countries
it is not.
With all Add a comma
countries,
this
, high weight
problems can be controlled by suitable culture and habits.Submitted by MinaDadashi1376 on
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coherence cohesion
Make sure the essay has a clear and logical structure, including well-organized paragraphs, each with a clear main point that is developed coherently.
coherence cohesion
Ensure the introduction clearly presents the topic and your position, and that the conclusion effectively summarizes the main points without introducing new information.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with relevant examples and explanations. Try to elaborate on the ideas presented rather than just stating them.
task achievement
Fully address all parts of the task, ensuring that your response directly answers the questions asked. Provide a more thorough explanation of the causes and a wider range of solutions with clear elaboration.
task achievement
Develop ideas comprehensively by exploring the causes and solutions in depth, providing more elaboration and detail for each point to strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Use a range of relevant, specific examples to support your points. Instead of generalizing, provide concrete examples that directly relate to the causes and measures you are discussing.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.