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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The chart below shows numbers of adults participating in different major sports in one area, in 1997 and 2017. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows numbers of adults participating in different major sports in one area, in 1997 and 2017. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#numbers #adults #sports #area #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The given graph depicts the figure for
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
adults who joined in sports events in a particular zone in
two
Use synonyms
 different
years
Use synonyms
 in 1997 and 2017.
Overall
Linking Words
, as
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can be seen, Gentle walking was the most popular sport among adult participants in both
years
Use synonyms
,
whereas
Linking Words
 Basketball had the lowest level of fans in 1997.
According to
Linking Words
 the given chart, Gym(aerobic) followed the same pattern in both
two
Use synonyms
 variant
years
Use synonyms
 (about 35
thousand
Use synonyms
),
also
Linking Words
 Jogging witnessed a slight alteration in 2017 rather than in 1997. Turning to the given table, Cricket experienced a dramatic fall from about 25
thousand
Use synonyms
 to under 10
thousand
Use synonyms
 in 2017 ,whilst Basketball grew
two
Use synonyms
 times(from 10
thousand
Use synonyms
 to 23
thousand
Use synonyms
 roughly),
as well as
Linking Words
 Football and Hiking had similar popularity among members who participated in
two
Use synonyms
years
Use synonyms
 (Football and Hiking had 30 and 47 numbers respectively).
To sum up
Linking Words
, the majority of members tended to join Gentle walking in 2017,
while
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 sport saw 50
thousand
Use synonyms
 members in 1997
Submitted by amirshajarizadeh on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words two, years, thousand with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • participation rates
  • adult demographic
  • comparison
  • percent change
  • significant increase/decrease
  • trend analysis
  • sports popularity
  • ranking changes
  • general patterns
  • social factors
  • 20-year period
  • time span
  • major sports
  • data interpretation
  • highlight features
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