Many people believe that all zoos should be closed, while others feel that zoos have a positive impact. Discuss both views and give your opinion

In the past few decades, there has been a tremendous increase in the number of individuals questioning the necessity of
zoos
. On one side of the spectrum, there are those who believe that keeping
animals
in the zoo has contributed to our understanding of the animal kingdom.
However
, others, including myself, strongly oppose
this
view and
instead
believe that a zoo is merely a place of animal cruelty.
To begin
, there is an argument to be made that
zoos
have allowed for scientific advancement
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
animal studies and education.
For example
, scientists have been able to document endangered snow leopard mating and feeding behaviours, which later led to the development of protection programmes.
For
this
reason, it is evident that keeping
animals
in an enclosure is highly valuable to science, as
this
can contribute to our knowledge
as well as
animal conservation. What is more,
zoos
are an exceptional place for children to gain exposure and an understanding of rare and exotic animal species,
otherwise
they would only be able to see these precious creatures in textbooks and on TV.
This
being the case, it can be assumed that if
zoos
were to close, our knowledge of wild
animals
would be limited and our children’s valuable education would be significantly harmed.
Nonetheless
, it must be stated that animal cruelty stemming from these enclosures is a significant issue that cannot be overlooked.
For instance
, two pandas
gifted
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passed
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from China to Germany both died in 2008
due to
their maladaptation to the new zoo.
Therefore
,
it is clear that
forcing
animals
to live in an unnatural habitat is a form of torture, providing no benefit nor protection to an already endangered species.
Furthermore
, even if these
animals
were to survive, keeping
animals
in captivity is a complete disregard
of
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for
show examples
animal welfare and often leads to depression and self-harming behaviour in these creatures. With
this
in mind, there is no doubt that if
zoos
continue to stay open, more
animals
will suffer and precious lives will be lost, merely in the name of science.
To conclude
, whilst some are under the impression that
zoos
provide valuable knowledge and education for all, others, myself included, strongly believe that these institutions are built on the cruelty and sacrifice of
animals
in captivity. From my perspective, I am of the fierce belief that
animals
deserve the same rights as humans and must have an undisturbed life in their own habitats.
Submitted by ototonji.ot on

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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, the essay should have a more balanced discussion on both views before presenting the concluding opinion. Transitions between points can be smoother, providing a better sense of logical flow.
task achievement
To enhance task achievement, the essay should ensure that it discusses both views equally and without bias before giving a personal opinion. Argument should be unbiased and fully developed, ensuring examples are woven throughout the essay.

Your opinion

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