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Writing Samples /
Band 5

University education should be free for all students. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#university #education #students
Nowadays it is widely discussed that higher
education
 in
institutions
 should be free for all individuals, studying there.
While
 some people support
this
 notion I partially disagree
due to
economic
Correct article usage
the economic
show examples
 burden
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the government and the quality of
education
 in these
institutions
. When it comes to free
education
 at universities,
according to
 the view of some people, there are some benefits for
students
.
Firstly
, there are a few circumstances where the individuals, who would like to study and get
university
Add an article
a university
show examples
 degree, have different socio-economic
background
Fix the agreement mistake
backgrounds
show examples
. To be specific, they have
unequal
Correct article usage
an unequal
show examples
 distribution of income.
Secondly
,
students
, particularly young people, studying in
such
 kind of
institutions
, may have lifelong learning, which in turn,
support
Correct subject-verb agreement
supports
show examples
 them in self-motivation of getting knowledge for personal and professional development.
Thus
, tertiary
education
, if it is free of charge, helps
students
 in many ways, beginning from theory and ending with vocational training.
On the other hand
, to install free higher
education
 for all
students
involve
Correct subject-verb agreement
involves
show examples
 several negative consequences. One of them is having
economic
Correct article usage
an economic
show examples
 burden which includes high responsibility on the economy itself.
For instance
, the government of a country, improving the situation from the one side, giving free
education
 at universities, can increase the level of taxes for specialists and workers not only in state organizations but
also
 in private industry. Another drawback of
this
 development is in the quality of studying in
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
institutions
 if they are free. Having
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 conditions, universities do not have opportunities to manage financial resources for
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
show examples
 improvement, whether it is for raising the qualification of teachers or to develop some facilities which are
also
 essential in
study
Add an article
the study
show examples
 process. In conclusion,
although
 free higher
education
 brings some positive things for
students
,
this
 development
also
 has some downsides which have been mentioned in
previous
Change the article
the previous
show examples
 paragraph.
Submitted by zavkidm on

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coherence cohesion
To enhance your essay's logical structure, ensure that each main point in your argument is clearly connected and that transitions between points and paragraphs are smooth and logical. Use linking words effectively to guide the reader through your argument.
coherence cohesion
You've included an introduction and conclusion which is good. To improve, your introduction should clearly state your position with respect to the question, and the conclusion should effectively summarize your arguments.
coherence cohesion
While you have touched on the main points of the argument, aim to develop each point with more depth and detail. Expand on your reasoning, and if possible, support your points with more specific evidence or examples.
task achievement
You have addressed the prompt to a certain degree but can improve by offering a more comprehensive exploration of the subject. Make sure your essay fully responds to all parts of the task and reflects a clear position throughout.
task achievement
To improve the clarity and comprehensiveness of your ideas, structure your paragraphs with a clear main idea and develop it fully before moving to the next point. Avoid overgeneralization by providing concrete and detailed information where possible.
task achievement
For a higher score in task achievement, integrate relevant and specific examples that solidify your arguments. These examples should relate directly to the topic and help illustrate your points more convincingly.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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